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Friday, 21 December 2012

Sweden Christmas Greeting

So it appears that I have time to write a blog post in Sweden after all.

It's been a week since I arrived here, 5 years since I have lived here. It is hard to believe to be honest- so many things are the same and so many things have changed. Time has just flown by so quickly!

So going back a little way. When I was 17 I went on exchange to Sweden for a full year. That's quite huge commitment for someone so young and to go so far away from my home in Australia. It changed my life. I made friends and family for life, I tried new things, I went out and explored, I became more confident in myself and I also lost 20kgs.

That also changed my life. I realised I could be strong and strict and could lose the weight myself. The problem was that being in Sweden and being in Australia are two very different things. For instance in Sweden I lived in a small small town in the country side where I had to ride a bike if I wanted to go anywhere. Food was always readily available, but it was all very healthy and there was no junk food and no fast food restaurants either. So my choices were limited.

This never made me feel like I missed out on anything, it just took away another choice or decision I had to keep myself from making. The youth here also spend there time differently. In summer they spent more time outdoors, probably because in winter they are stuck inside. And there is a bigger focus on activities together, craft groups, wood work, beading etc

So 5 years ago a came home a different person. And now I am back, and remembering all those different things and decisions I made and wondering why I couldn't live like that back home in Australia.

But I also realised that I am also in a better place now. I am training 3 times a week in something I really enjoy and don't see myself quitting. I am also eating healthily. Even here when I am on holidays and I told myself it would be OK to relax a little and just enjoy myself I still can't bring myself to quite let go. It's a good thing to realise that what I have tried so hard to stick to is now becoming something so permanent that I don't have to think about it anymore.

For instance, when offered biscuits and cakes I will taste some if I haven't tried it before and then I pass on it from then onwards. I am making sure that I eat my salad and veggies and while I am drinking more coffee and milk over here, I am also drinking my water and cutting out other dairy products to compensate.

So far it seems to be working and I don't feel like I am indulging too much or feel guilty. It's nice to know I can trust myself.

Another thing that I learnt the last time I was here and which I remembered was to be proud of my body and to not worry about what everything thinks.

My body is what I have made it, it is no ones fault but mine, and is testament to all that I have been through and all the mistakes and successes I have made. And why should anyone else be able to hurt me or condemn me for that but me? I am who I am. I am strong, I am healthy, I am flexible and I am capable of doing everything that I have ever asked of myself. So what if I do not meet other peoples expectations of what is beautiful or fit? They do not have to live with this body, they did not make the decisions I made and they do not know the reasons for them. I do.

I have decided that I like my body, that I will continue to like my body as I get older, skinnier, fatter, saggier, wrinkles, grey hair and more. We should all embrace our bodies and make sure that we appreciate them for what they do for us. Hating yourself does not make you skinnier, or healthier. It only hurts you and your body. So be happy, accept yourself and move on to a healthier you.

God Jul och Gott Nytt År. (Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!)

Monday, 10 December 2012

Inprovements:fitness related

So last night was my last session over the Christmas period. Not because I am lazy and cutting it short, but because I fly out this Friday for 3 weeks in Sweden!

So to celebrate my trainer made me revisit one of our previous sessions and see how well I have improved. I think I did this session maybe about a month or so ago now?

Basically it is 4 exercises which you have to do 10 of at a time and complete 3 rounds in as fast as time as you can. I believe last time I just made it through 3 rounds before my half hour was up.

This time I smashed the 3 rounds and still had 10 minutes to spare. So she made me do leg drops (one of my least favourite exercises) except that even these went well for me!

So today, despite feeling a tad sore, I am feeling mightily pleased with myself for improving.

I have also promised her I will try and do something everyday that I am away and that I will send her a picture of snow, and me exercising. Otherwise I might get a message on facebook checking up on me :P

Got to love me trainer!

Looking into the new year, I have already decided that I would like to amp up my exercise. At the moment I am doing 2x 30 min personal training sessions a week and a 45min boxing session. I think next year I would like to up my PT sessions to an hour, and am still deciding whether to do another boxing session, or to try something else.

This will probably be my last post before I go away, as I can't guarantee Internet access while I'm away, so I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and I hope that the new year brings everyones new found resolutions and dedication a wonderful reward.


Tuesday, 4 December 2012


For many years now I have been struggling with confidence. It's something that I know a lot of people struggle with in different ways.

For me it started after I first lost weight. I was young, healthy, fit and had a new found confidence in myself and body. Cue first boyfriend.

I've had two boyfriends. Both of which loved me for who I am, but both brought out the worst in me- unhealthy eating habits, lack of exercise, cuddling up watching movies. So within 2 years I had gained pretty much all my weight back on.

Throughout this time, one of the few things that was remarked upon by friends and families alike was how confident I was, and I realised just how attractive someone who is confident can be.

When I broke up with my last BF and I realised that I had gained all my weight and more back on, my confidence took a dive.

But my pride wouldn't let me admit this. I didn't want to go back to the way I was before. So for the last 3 years I have pretended that I am happy with who I am and that I'm confident and friendly and all of the above, all the while shying away from any male contact.

I mean if I dated then they would actually have to see my body (....eventually.... if things went well). Unclothed. With all my flaws.

Its something that now that I am losing weight and getting fitter and healthier that I have thought about a lot. Will I regain my confidence? Will I be able to let someone in?

So far the answer has been a big fat NO. I have gone out and looked at guys but I can't seem to take the next step.

Lately I have been blaming the stuff going at home (parent's divorcing, moving house, father cheated and left us in debt) I mean who wants to bring someone into that? But as I try to convince mum not to give up hope on all men and that she'll find someone who loves her the way she is, I can't help wondering if I believe the same thing for myself.

But of course I'm to proud to talk about this to friends and family- that would reveal my deep seated fear and lack of confidence, and I can't have that.

Wednesday, 28 November 2012

Is it worth the guilt?

So lately I have been taking a step back from eating and weight loss. Mostly because I just can't summon up the energy to deal with it all.

I just want to be relaxed and happy and constantly feeling guilty isn't helping.

I mean do I want to over think everything I eat and worry about every bad thing that I put into my mouth? Or think about the consequences of just enjoying myself? NO.

That's just not realistic, or normal, or healthy. And I don't want that.

I am a long way from where I was. I am fitter and exercise more than I probably ever did and am even looking at increasing that after my holiday over Christmas.

I am eating more vegetables and fruit and cut out so much- lollies, chocolate, chips, sugary drinks, fast food.

That doesn't mean I don't ever eat the above, but compared to having something from all of the above every day, I am eating MAYBE one of the above a couple times a week. (Mostly chocolate. Dam that delicious goodness!)

That's good isn't it? Yet I am constantly thinking about how I shouldn't have had those dip and crackers, or those two pieces of chocolate, or that wine. But I did. So deal with it.

I am sick of second guessing myself and making myself feel even worse about something that to many others is just normal eating habits!

So I am taking a step back and just trying to enjoy myself and not over think it too much. This does not mean I am going to lapse back into old habits and all that ( I don't think I could even if I wanted too!) it just means I have to accept I am not perfect and that I can only improve.

I mean for heaven's sake- I am only 23!


Yes I want to lose weight. But I want to do it long term. I don't want to do something drastic and shock my system and lose a massive amount of weight only to put it all back on again when I resume normal eating habits. How is that healthy? How is that going to help me?

It's not. So this is me taking a step back and a deep breathe and try and look at things from a new perspective.

Sunday, 18 November 2012

Toughening up

So lately I have been slowly drifting into bad habits. Not too much, but enough that I notice it and feel gross afterwords.

And I don't want that. I've started to fall into the trap of being too tired, unprepared and stressed to plan well and have good food on hand, and then I go buy unhealthy food.

Not extremely- not HJ's, Macca's KFC or any of those, but too much protein and not enough veggies. And not steamed but fried etc Those sort of choices.

And it's not good enough. I know that I am stressed, I know that I am tired, but that is no excuse. I also know what is good and bad for me and know that I am only hurting myself, not rewarding myself.

So time to take a step back and evaluate and get back into the game. It helps that I haven't been skipping exercise at least, and have in fact increased. I also have two extra hour sessions to use up as my friend just joined up. So that's an extra couple of sessions to work off the last week or two.

My main problem is lunch. Breakfast is fine, I get to work I have a coffee and cereal or toast with peanut butter. It's not a sugary cereal but heart foundation approved cereal and with rice milk as well. So I'm all good there.

But Dinner and Lunch are my problem. Especially as mum is stressed too so she has been in a simlar mood as me and we both can't bothered cooking proper meals. 

But I need to get back into it. Especially as it is nearing Christmas and the New Year and my trip away. If I slip now, I might slip further during the holiday season and that is something I don't want. I don't want to ruin all my hard work!

Especially as I am noticing my hard work, my arms are becoming more toned- I can see some muscle! My tummy isn't as bad as it was and my thighs are slowly shrinking. Clothes are starting to sit differently as my shape changes. It is both a good and a bad thing!

So I need to start making sure I have healthy snacks on me, yoghurt and fruit mostly. I don't want to have nuts as I have a problem with snacking and portion control that I want to break.

I also want to start cooking healthier meals and having more vegetables.

So the start to a new week and time to get back on track, starting with today.

Wednesday, 14 November 2012

Society Shift

I was reading one of the blogs I follow -Fit to Finish. Diane had written about Fat Acceptance on her blog which raises a controversial topic and one that is heavily talked about within "fat" circles. I have touched on this subject before, but reading it again in Diane's blog made me want to post about it again.

As someone who is overweight and not obese, I do not think my weight has affected me too much, but it HAS affected me and some of my choices in life. Sometimes more because I thought I was fat and shouldn't do something than because I actually physically couldn't do it. I can only imagine how that must feel for someone bigger than what I am.

Recently, I have made myself shift my way of thinking, forcing myself to stop thinking I can't do something, just because I think I shouldn't. But I get off topic.

I believe that people should be accepted for who they are, but that fundamentally as a society we need to shift towards a healthier way of living.

In my generation (Gen-Y) eating fast food, binge drinking, not being able to cook from scratch, energy drinks. Xbox, play stations, TV, iPad, iPhones and tablets are all things we have grown up with and simply what is done. Many people and younger do not know any other way of living. It is affecting our waist line.

So what do we do?

Like any other generation, we resent the comments "Back in my day.. " It is not your day, it is ours and things are very very different. Society has taken a fundamental shift from having to make do with what is in the cupboard, from simply being able to survive- to having excess. To have that feeling of affluence, of having things in our cupboard and going "you know what, I don't feel like that I am going to have this, this and this"

So we create these movements trying to force others to see it OUR way. Believing like every generation before us that WE are the ones that are RIGHT and know better. After all they didn't grow up with all this did they? We think we deserve this. We think that we work hard and deserve to reward ourselves with whatever we want.

But this not right. As anyone who wants to be healthy knows, what you want and what is good for you are two very different things. You want candy, but what good is that going to be for your body? Your body does not need sugar to function.

As a society we need to educate our young people to what is needed and what is not. That exercise is a NECESSITY not a choice. That HEALTH is important and cannot be compromised.

We need to teach children about growing, planting and eating from the garden. How to use those foods in cooking. How they benefit your body. How just like smoking, energy drinks are going to ruin their body. So too is being overweight and obesity. If not now, then in 20 years time as they start to slow down and stress, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and aches and pains start to kick in.

Already struggling to get pregnant, polysystic ovary syndrome and diabetes are kicking in for some of my friends who are overweight. They are only in their early 20's!!

If we as a society do not change, do not decide as a majority that we need to do something now I can only imagine what our future is going to be like.

Sunday, 11 November 2012

Knowledge is Power. Or is it?

I am a firm believer that knowledge is power. It is what has affected most of my decisions. If I don't know much about an upcoming decision, I will research it until I feel comfortable and confident in my decision.

Sometimes that's easy, sometimes that's hard and sometimes you just have to make a decision based on your gut feeling. I get that, but I still feel more comfortable knowing that I have found out as much as I possibly could before making a decision.

I of course applied this to losing weight, I have read up quite a bit, googled and read about various diets, weight loss programs, benefits of exercise, how to maintain etc etc I take what I read with a grain of salt, not only is there no fool proof diet, but everyone is different and so are the results. So I have taken what I think is valuable and applied it.

This belief has been going well. Until I was talking with one of my co-workers. She is a very bright and intelligent woman who is struggling to lose weight. She is also very vocal about her knowledge, opinions and excuses. Yup, excuses.

I have now come to the conclusion, that for some people, knowledge is NOT power, but simply fuels their excuses.

Take my co-worker for example, she is in her mid 30's with a child, works 4 days a week and is overweight, if not obese.

She wants to lose weight, so she has started on these diet pills, which have had some effect. Which is great, even though I personally dislike pills.

When I asked her what she was eating, or exercising, she said the usual (eating) and that she had (insert excuses here).. ankle problems, not enough money, too little time etc etc for exercise, hence the pills. Once of course she has lost some weight, it will be easier to exercise she says.

Upon watching her, I have realised a) she goes to Macca's several times a week before work b) eats out a lot for lunch c) drinks soft drink at lunch d) eats chocolate/sugary sweets regularly.

This is not the first time someone has come up to me and said, hey I'm losing weight too! and have actually done nothing. Usually this doesn't affect me except when people use their knowledge and twist it to suit their own purposes.

I was on training last week with her this is exactly what she was doing. We were eating lunch when she came in with chips, kebab meat and gravy with a 600ml Pepsi. Some of the girls wanted to know what she was eating and then they asked why she was eating that instead of something like a sandwich or salad.

Apparently she is allergic to raw foods or raw protein or some such. Hence always buying take out- because it is cooked. She went on about her various allergies and what she could and could not eat etc Thrown in were a couple of references to diets where high protein, high carb diets had worked and lasted for % percentage of women etc.. and she had them eating out of her hand.

I could not believe it.

All I could think was, she could have bought some steamed vegies and cooked them in the microwave and had them with some chicken or cooked meat from the night before if she wanted to eat healthy. Or soups, or something!

Not deep fried chips with gravy and meat. And all the girls just nodded their heads and sympathised and that was it, she could eat what she wanted and not feel guilty or judged.

And just like that she had used her knowledge to fuel her excuses, not to make better and more informed decisions as I was.

It infuriates me when people do this. Not only are they not helping themselves, they are making it harder for the rest of us who are doing the right thing, and are actually trying to lose weight.

Monday, 5 November 2012


Two of my good friends, both severely obese, have started Personal Training!!

I'm very excited as I love them both dearly and have been telling them for a while to give PT a go, as it is most definitely worth it!

I hope it works for them as well as it has for me :)

Training update

So I have decided to up the ante and to train three times a week. I will still be doing my 2x personal training sessions on Monday and Wednesday and now I will be doing a GX boxing session on Fridays.

GX is a high intensity boxing session, using boxing moves you do a minute (or so) of a series of moves for as hard and fast as you can. Rest for 30 seconds and then move on to the next series of moves.

An example might be to do a left jab, right jab, right cross and then duck. You have to repeat those punches for a minute.

I was a bit worried when my trainer first suggested I come along, mostly because I haven't exercised in front of people since the beginning of the year when I was going to the gym, and also because I was worried I wouldn't be able to keep up and would let the group down.

I shouldn't have worried. While I struggled with some of the exercises ( my coordination SUCKS!) it was no more than what any beginner would be like and I didn't feel like I was being left behind at all.

It was also a lot of fun, which is something I hadn't expected! There was a lot of bantering and jokes, as well as encouragement from the others, which was quite enjoyable.

I had yesterday off and decided to head to training earlier. I did 5 min jog on 8 on the treadmill. Then I had to do 200 sprints jump off the treadmill and do 5 chin ups before jumping back on the treadmill. I repeated that 3 times.

I was quite happy, because not only did I do the 5 min jog without dying or having to stop and walk (as I would have a couple of months ago) I also upped the speed on the treadmill for my sprints. Going from 8 to a 10.9. I have NEVER EVER jogged at over 8 before, let alone over 10.

I'm sure I would not be able to maintain the speed for any length of time, but I'm proud nonetheless that I am making progress with my fitness.

I finished off the session with 3 minutes of squats and 3 minutes of cross fit sit ups.

If you have never heard of cross fit sit ups (perhaps you know them by another name); sit down and put the soles of your feet together so that your knees are a part and as close to the ground as possible. Now lie down and stretch your arms behind your head. Now sit up and touch your toes. Try not to move your legs!

Good luck with your training, and if you have any cool exercises that you like to do, feel free to share!

Wednesday, 31 October 2012

Me, my life and where I want to be..

This is not a weight loss post. This is a more general where I am at, where I want to be and how I am going to get there post. You know.. one of those.

Where I am at..

So right now I am 23 years old, I live at home, I am overweight, I work full time for a not-for-profit that helps children with a disability by providing therapy services.

I am single. I have great friends. I am going to Sweden at the end of the year for 3 weeks. My parents are divorcing, we are moving house. My younger sister has moved out with her boyfriend, has a house, dog, birds and I swear all the latest gadgets.

My brother is working and generally enjoying being 18 (legal age to drink in Australia) and his gap year while trying to figure out what he wants to do at Uni.

Oh, I only finished uni last year in July.I have a degree in Mass Communications; Public Relations and Film and TV.  I only started working Full time at the beginning of the year.

Where I want to be..

In 3 years time.. I want to be a healthy size. I want to have a boyfriend. I want my own home. I want a new car. I want to have/will be travelling again. I want to have paid off my HECS fees ( uni fees) .

In truth, I want a lot of things.
But then I have never been daunted by the impossible. It's all about setting goals, planning, breaking things down into bite size pieces that actually look achievable. THINKING POSITIVE.

It's part of the reason Mum loves me. Especially with what she is going through right now (divorce) simply because rather than letting her be overwhelmed with everything, I make her break things down and face what she can do right this instant. Everything else has to be put off until she can do something about it.

No point worrying about what you can't change. No point in making yourself stress and be sick and depressed over the things in life you can't do anything about. You'll never get past things by making them bigger than what they are.

How I am going to do it..

Well I have been looking into buying a house a lot lately. How to do it, what I need to do etc and I have decided me and Mum are going to buy an investment property together and rent it out.

I've already saved $10k this year and plan on doing the same next year. If mum puts in the same we'll get a pretty good house and land package. In 3 years if we sell it, we should have something like 3 times what we initially invested. If all goes well of course.

3x$20k .. I could buy a car. I can pay off my HECS fees and I would be able to put a down payment on a house, just for me.

Hows that for a plan?

I'm already working on the losing weight, great figure, boyfriend part. (To be honest though the great figure +house+ car +no debt is more important than the boyfriend part)

Lucky for me I'm a good saver. After all only last year I earned under $20k and now I'm earning twice that. Rather than go woohoo! look at all the things I can buy - well I did, a little. But I already own a car and I like living at home (Mum likes it too so it's ok people with disapproving glances!!) so instead I started thinking about where I wanted to be in life and how I wanted to get there.

Because you see, I don't want to end up fat with loads of health problems. I don't want to rely on my partner or family to help me own my own home. I want to travel and go on holidays. I want to be set up for retirement and not worry about going on the pension or going into an old person's home.

I want to be a great example for my kids. I want to give them great experiences and education in life.

And all that takes money. And money takes planning and saving and working hard.

And if I start now, then maybe, just maybe I might actually make it happen. Even with detours and mistakes on the way.

Heavy I know for a 23 year old. But I've always been told that I am an old soul.

Tuesday, 30 October 2012

My size

Part of a huge goal for me is to remove all my plus sized clothing and fit into the "normal" section of the clothing stores.

That means anything above a 16 needs to go.

The other day I managed to fit into a size 16 pair of jeans. And not a very stretchy pair of jeans I might add.

Now that I can fit into those pair of jeans I only own two pairs of pants that are size 18. That's it. Done. My wardrobe now consists of size 16's and size 14's.

I would also like to point out that I am from Australia hence the chart below.

The average size of a woman in Oz is a size 14. So basically I am one size away from being "normal".

How weird does that sound????

The difference is I want to be on the small size of a 14. So basically I want to be closer to a 12 than a 16. More hard work but better for me I think!

I have upped my training, so I am doing 3 sessions a week. One of which is GX boxing, or high energy boxing. It's supposed to help work the arms and legs in a fun way and great for losing weight apparently.

I've already tried it a couple of times to see if I like it and it's intense! But it is good fun, and I did better in it than I thought I would ( always a bonus!)

I am hoping to be down to a healthy size 14 by April next year as that's when my cousin is getting married and when I next see all my family. That and it will be the next time I have to be all dolled up and get some professional photos taken.

I want them to look good. I want to be able to poster them all over my Facebook page and not have to worry about the rolls or the double chins etc.

Wish me luck!


Monday, 22 October 2012

It's the simple things in life.

Why do I want to lose weight?

To be healthier
To be smaller
To live longer
To enjoy life more
To be fitter
To be a good role model to friends and family
To be able to run around and play with (future) children
To be able to go running without being out of breathe
To be able to go to the beach without feeling out of place
To wear a pair of bathers and not be self conscious
To not have rolls
To be able to wear a singlet and jeans without feeling like covering up
To be able to go out to dinner and eat dessert  and feel judged
To wear smaller clothes
To wear more fashionable clothes
To go shopping with my friends in the same store
To be able to borrow clothes of my friends
To not have to try on 10 pairs of jeans and walk out because none of them fit
To feel beautiful
To feel happy
To be comfortable in my own skin
To be comfortable with the other sex
To be a better me

Monday, 15 October 2012

The "Cure".

Diet pills, drugs, hormones .. We all hear about these being developed every single day. That scientists are that bit closer to discovering why people are obese and how to cure it. I come across these articles (like the one below) almost every day as I scan the news.

I understand that to many obesity is a disease, and as such it has a cure.

However I am of the mindset that no amount of drugs can "cure" obesity. That is up to the individual.

I also believe that if all the people who are obese sat around waiting for this cure, then nothing is every going to change. Lets face it, if a cure is to be found, it is going to take years of research and testing before being able to used safely by humans.

So why am I talking about this? Because people need to realise that while there is support and options out there for people wanting to lose weight, it is not going to happen by itself. You need to get up and moving NOW not tomorrow, or next week, on Monday, on your birthday, in the new year.. those are just excuses to prolong the inevitable.

AND it is going to be hard, long and painful. Emotional, scary and absolutely 120% worth it. There is no quick fix, no short term cure, no drug that will make it all go away. As the old saying goes, No Pain No Gain.

What is also scary, is that if you do not actually try to understand the reason why you are obese and make changes behaviourally and psychologically not just physically, then you are more than likely to gain the weight back on.

"There is data to suggest that up to 90 percent of people will go on a diet and do exercise and within a year, they have relapsed to their old weight –– our bodies are designed to defend a set weight,"

(that was from the article above)

The reason behind this is because while you have stuck to the equation of a diet (exercise more than what goes in your body) eventually you will stop, you will go back to old habits, old behaviours and the things that made you gain weight initially. Maybe you don't put on as much weight, or maybe you do change your behaviours after you have lost the weight through a diet. But essentially you have to CHANGE for it to become permanent.

As I said, there is no quick fix or easy solution. Each person is different, and every person has different reasons, and once we source those reasons THEN we can begin to the journey to start out all again, and do it RIGHT.

For ourselves, for our friends, for our family, for our future, we need to make a start NOW.

Tuesday, 9 October 2012

Ball Photos

Myself, My sisters friends, and finally my sisters partner and my sister. You can see I have a lot of catching up to do!

Sunday, 7 October 2012

I reached a GOAL!

On the weekend I had the sudden urge to try on a pair of jeans.

To say the least, this is not an urge that comes to me naturally as I dislike the fact that I have to wear size 18 jeans.

So I had the urge and I decided that I should try on some of the jeans. Size 16 only. If they fit, they fit. If they didn't then more motivation to me.

I tried on a few different pairs at a few places. Not all of them fit-but by god they were close!!!!

A few pairs did though. Let me just repeat that.. A FEW pairs of JEANS in size 16 fitted ME!!

As part of my motivation and goals for weight loss I had promised myself no more jeans until I could get into a size 16. AND I have just done that!!

You have no idea how excited I was. I have not been able to fit into size 16 jeans for like 5 years. And now I can.

I am on the bigger side of size 16 but from trying on so many different pairs of jeans I know now that I am not that far away! I mean I could get them pretty much all the way up but couldn't do up the buttons.

That's a far cry from barely being able to get them over my thighs!!

So right now I am doing a little dance, a little jig to celebrate and then I have to start thinking about my next set of goals.

Wednesday, 3 October 2012

Wednesday Training

So last night I was worked. HARD.

I had to complete a circuit of 4 exercises three times under 5 minutes each.

The exercises were:

Jump in the shape of a square i.e jump 4 times forward, right, back and left. Do this 5 times then reverse the jumps.

With 5kg weights spread your legs wide, then reach down with your opposite hand to touch your foot. You HAVE to keep your back straight and you should bend the knee of you the leg your are touching while your other leg stays straight. Do the same to the other leg. Then straighten up and pretend to punch with your right and left arm. That's one. Do 10.

Mini planks. Put yourself in the plank position. Bring your right arm and left leg up so they are not touching the floor, hold for three seconds. That's one. Do 10 and alternate between your left and right.

Last one. I did this with 8kgs, but you will probably want 5kgs if you are just starting out. Get into a squat position lift the weights up level to your shoulders, squat, then as you come out of your squat push the weights up so that your arms are straight. Bring back down to shoulder height then squat again. Do this 10 times.

Start again.

It's not the exercises that are hard so much as having to do them one after the other and as fast as you can.

I left feeling worked and exhausted and now feeling a little tender today. BUT it was a great work out and really got me back into the right head space.

Tuesday, 25 September 2012

Tired of perfection

I am so sick and tired of those that seem to be the perfect weight loss loser.

You have more will power than me, you can stick to your diet goals, you're going harder at the gym.

Woohoo good for you. There is no need to brag about it in my face.

I am genuinely happy for you. But don't you dare make me feel as if my weight loss is not good enough.

Just because my journey is different to yours does not mean it is right or wrong. People work through things differently.

I understand that I have a lot of emotions tied to food. And I know it will take time to work through those. Just because I give in to those now or then, or because I seem more relaxed about it does not mean I am not dealing with it.

All I have heard about dieting is that is bad for you. You stick to one restricted plan for too long and you crack. I have heard that almost 95% of dieters regain their weight and then some within 2 years of losing it.

Why? Because they haven't worked through their issues. They lose the will power to stay on something so restrictive and they start to go back to old habits. I have been so good for so long I deserve to have a piece of cake now and then. And so it begins.

That is NOT how I want to be. I want to work through my problems. Find a balance between the food I love and the foods I need. To enjoy and actually want to do exercise. To be able to go out with friends and enjoy the same foods without being judged or judging them.

I want to be normal.

Yes that sounds idyllic. And so many people will say that I am being unrealistic to think I can make any changes without dieting or restricting.


It has worked for me so far.

I CAN go out. No I don't eat dessert, I make a healthy choice for dinner, and I do NOT feel guilty.
I CAN eat a piece of chocolate when I am tired and stressed.
I CAN enjoy life.
I do NOT need to be good ALL the time.

As long as I exercise more than I eat. Then I am fine. Which is what I plan to keep on doing.
Yes I might hit a plateau and need to change something to keep losing weight. But that does not mean I need to drop everything in my life, go completely organic within a week and then crash and burn within 3 days.

I understand my body, my mentality and what I need to do to make sure I achieve my goals. So congratulations that you have done so well. So have I. Now leave me alone.

Sunday, 23 September 2012


I am sitting at work in a size smaller skirt! That has a zip! Woohoo!

This is a big moment for me! All my hard work is paying off, I am ONE SIZE away from my goal :)


Ok something that I have done for a while now in order to motivate myself is to refuse to wear bigger size clothing. I refused to go buy more clothes that fit into the "plus" sized family.

That meant that I wasn't allowed jeans, skirts, pants etc until I could get into the next size down.

It was a bit of a struggle at times, and I am glad that I am finally making progress as I need work clothes, but it is a great feeling to know I have succeeded!

People asked me, why does it matter? Can't you just get the next size up? Especially my mother when I really liked a skirt/pair of jeans but I couldn't quite fit into them.

The answer was NO. As I tried to explain to mum, that was a line that I wasn't willing to cross. That was what had got me this far, by not fitting into clothes and refusing to buy bigger clothes I HAD to make changes, I had to exercise and get smaller, otherwise I wouldn't have any clothes to wear.

And it worked and it feels amazing :)

To know that I am actually wearing a size smaller skirt, one that does not have an elastic waistband or is made of cotton or something really stretchy is like a dream come true.

Not only that but I am only one size up from being a size 14: my goal size. So close!

I still struggle with jeans, so that is my next motivator. To fit into a pair of jeans. Especially as I need some for my December trip to Sweden!

Does anyone else have a motivator that might not make sense to others? Something that has helped you to start to make those changes in your life?

Monday, 17 September 2012

The experimentation with food we call a diet.

Every one of us that is losing weight has to look at the food we eat at some time or another. Whether it be as a meal plan, simply eating better and not undoing the hard work, removing sugar, carbs, protein, counting calories or having shakes or meals delivered.

Every one of us is experimenting with the food we eat to find the best solution for us, whether it be to be healthier or to lose weight, or for medical reasons such as high cholesterol or blood sugar.

My approach to begin with was a food diary, which helped me to open my eyes to when I was eating and what I was turning too when I didn't eat right. This helped me to realise I had to have three meals a day with two snacks. Otherwise I would end up at 3pm or 8pm searching the cupboards for that chocolate or cookie.

After doing the food diary for almost 4 months I thought I would give it a go by myself. It started well but it also happened around a time when, if I am honest, I just didn't have the energy, time or motivation to keep it up myself.

Then having enough of this I got into personal training. PT has changed my life. Not only do I enjoy exercising- who would have thought?? but it has put me back on track and now that I am noticing results and feeling good I feel I need to make better food choices to keep that work going.

Now this happened about a month ago, and going back to what I learnt from my food diary I have been trying to have three meals a day and two snacks. The problem is I would still crack and have that chocolate snack.

After looking over what I was eating again, I realised  a) that it wasn't good enough, I need to be healthier and b) I was eating a lot of protein but not very much healthy carbs.

I realised that it could be that I wasn't eating enough of the right carbs that I was then cracking and going for the highly processed sugary carbs in chocolate or lollies.

So this is my diet revised:

Breakfast : Healthy Cereal (Heart tick approved, min fat and sugar) with Rice Milk.
Lunch: Usually leftovers or a ham and salad roll/sandwich.
Dinner: Misc.

Snacks: Fruit, muesli bars or cup a soups.
Drinks: Water, coffee
Treats: Very occasionally now I will let myself have a piece of chocolate. Simply because if I cut it out all together then I will simply crave it more. However it is only one or two pieces. And not every day like I used too!

Since making the changes I have been really surprised! I know I shouldn't be, but I am.  I have stopped getting the cravings in the afternoon, and by having something savoury instead I am slowly training my body out of the "it's 3pm I need a sweet" mindset . Not only that but I don't even need as many snacks or as big a portions as what I used too.

I think this was something that was happening before, but because of my meal choices I wasn't giving my body the choice to eat or not. Now I am slowly getting into the frame of mind that I eat when I am hungry, not because I can, or because I am bored, or angry or upset or because it is just there in front of me.

So my goals for my diet include three steps:

Step 1: Get used to eating these meals and eventually replace unhealthy dinner meals with better choices. ( This is hard one, as I still eat with my family, who are not on a diet, but if I slowly introduce healthy versions I am hoping to convince them to eat healthier as well)

Step 2: Decrease the amount of sugar in my diet. This is not because I think I eat a lot of sugar, but once I am happy with my eating habits, and feel the need to go that step further and really cut out sugar. I know this will be hard as it is in so much foods! And will ultimately change how I think and prepare meals.

Step 3: This I think will happen hand in hand with Step 2, I would like to go as organic as possible and prepare as much as possible myself. At the moment this is pretty difficult as a) I don't have a lot of time and b) I need to learn how to cook/prepare the foods that I eat regularly.

The first one that I would like to change is bread. We have a bread machine at home, I just need to learn how to use it and start to make it a habit.

Yesterday was the first day that I not only wore tight clothing to training, so not my usual baggy t-shirt over the top to cover up my stomach, but I also managed to jog 800 meters, and I wasn't even too out of breath.

The t- shirt thing means that I am slowly becoming happy with how I look. The 800 metres means I am becoming fitter (sure 800 metres isn't much, but for someone who doesn't run AT ALL- that's a lot).

I do not want to ruin all that hard work by my food choices. Not when I have come so far!

Wednesday, 12 September 2012

I can't believe I walked away..

From Pizza!

That's right. I managed to walk away after only having two slices of pizza! I have NEVER EVER been able to do this before.

I put the two slices on my plate. Poured my glass of fizzy drink. And that was that, when I finished it I put my plate away and WALKED AWAY from the temptation.

Megan: 1
Pizza: 0

I am looking forward to this weekend the weather is finally clearing up and I'm hoping to be able to enjoy some time outdoors to make up for last weekend. Fingers crossed!

Ps. Someone I hadn't seen in FOREVER said I looked great and could tell I had lost weight, so I'm on a high right now >.<

Sunday, 9 September 2012

Weekend Confession

This coming Friday is my birthday. I will be 23 years old! Or young. Depending on who you're talking to.

Any who, most of my friends had family things on this coming weekend, so I decided to celebrate early.

My weekend confession:

Thursday night I caught up with my friend for coffee. We talked for hours, it was a great night. Except I didn't eat dinner until 9.30pm and then it was a take away chicken roll (with salad!).

Friday night I went for drinks with the girls after work. I had four drinks and didn't eat again till 10pm- I had two pieces of toast with vegemite (like marmite but not) with cheese.

Saturday I had a big breakfast, two eggs, sunny side up, two pieces of bacon and a big mushroom- Yummy! (But definitely not on my eat every day list)
Then I went shopping and had a coffee AND did not eat lunch.

Then I headed out to a friends house party where several of my friends decided that they were going to get me drunk to celebrate my early birthday.

First of all, I do not normally drink. EVER. It's just not something I do. My friends have never ever seen me be drunk. Yes tipsy, having a good time, socialising, but never ever drunk. I usually just start off keeping up with everyone, then when they get too tipsy to notice if I'm drinking or not, I stop. I don't know why, it is just something I have always done. I think it might have something to do with control and letting go.

Well they saw me drunk on Saturday. Not only did they give me tequila, even when I told them not too! But because I hadn't eaten either. NOT A GOOD THING!

So yes I vomited. They all laughed and thought it was hilarious and now I feel like I have officially lived my youth and they can all stop trying to get me drunk.

It was funny though, as one of the comments I do remember was "What? You don't actually drink at all????!!" Obviously I had tried to tell people that I don't drink and they hadn't believed me. Maybe they just thought I don't drink much, but no, I don't drink at all.

For all that though, I was up at 6am on Sunday, barely a headache and felt fine. I did have a nice snooze in the sun in the afternoon and that was it.

So summary:

I ate very badly, and drank. More than I have in a long time. But I also know that this was a one-off. I don't plan on drinking like this every weekend. It's not my birthday every weekend. I don't want to start getting in bad habits.

On the other hand, this weekend I proved that I have finally started to break eating out of habit- "it's lunch time therefore I must eat lunch". Not because I am actually hungry.

This is something that I have been working on, that and making sure that everything I eat contributes to my overall health. This is something that I used to do a lot when I first lost weight but it has become harder as I struggle to plan and organise meals etc. I also have been under a lot of stress at work which I feel like I have finally been able to let go and relax.

All in all, I feel bad at what I did, but it just makes me feel more determined to do better and go harder. I have been doing really well in training so I feel like I don't want to ruin that with food.

I have even cut back on chocolate lately, and I haven't felt deprived or anything!

So looking forward, not back and here's hoping the next year of my life is positive, healthy and full of achievements!

Thursday, 6 September 2012

Friends, revelations, barriers and coffee.

I caught up with one of my close friends last night over a coffee. One of the things that I love about her is that we can not see each other for 6 months and still feel like it was yesterday that we caught up. That and we always have something to talk about.

One of the things that comes up a lot in our conversations is weight loss and healthy living. Both of us have struggled with our weight quite a lot and are still struggling with it now and whenever we catch up we talk about our highs and lows, what we've learnt and where we are going with it now.

As we were talking about weight loss and our recent struggles we brought up how we feel like we understand each other, we've been through similar things and are on similar paths.

Not so with another of my close "bigger girl" friends. You would think seeing as I've known this girl for almost 10 years now, that we have hung out, we have the same friends, we both struggle with our weight  and health etc that I would be able to talk as easily as I do with my other coffee friend.

But instead she has this huge barrier up around her that prevents me from talking about weight and health and struggles with her, and that is that she is happy with who she is and how big she is.

How can you talk to someone with how they are struggling to lose weight when they constantly tell you they are happy with who they are and what size they are? That they like their lifestyle and the way they live even when they are now struggling with the health problems associated with being obese.

I love both my friends dearly and I wish I could have more open conversations with both of them, not just the one, as I want all my friends and loved ones to live a happy and healthy lifestyle.

Talking about it with my coffee friend made me realise that is a barrier, a smoke screen, that she is putting up to hide her own feelings and that I need to push past that. If there's anyone who can relate to her in our group of friends, it's me, and I need to make sure I'm there for her when she does need to talk or vent or make those first few steps.

That to be a true friend I need to reach out to her and offer the support that she needs to get through this.

On a side not, I made a few revelations while talking to my coffee friend and I would like to share them, so here goes:

  • You would think losing weight the second time would be easier, but it's not! Instead you now know the fear of failing and this has been holding me back.
  • My fear of relationships stems from my unreal expectations of " when I get skinny I will find THE one" but in the back of my head I'm saying " he only wants you because you're skinny, not because you're you".
  • I need to realise ME is ME no matter what size I am.
  • The number on the scales isn't the be all or the end all. If I have a flat tummy and fit into the size I want I will be happy with who I am.
  • Smaller fitness goals helps me to motivate myself and keep myself on track.
  • If I start my day right I will usually end my day right.
  • I need to do this for me, not "when I come back I will show them/him/her what I can do." Because once you reach that goal, where do you go from there?
  • I will be "fit and healthy" is too generalised. I need to focus on what EXACTLY I want out of life and how I want to live and then make goals to achieve this.

Monday, 3 September 2012

Fat v's Skinny: a Fashionable Debate

There has been a lot of controversy here in Aus lately about "Fat Fashion bloggers" and the increasing acceptance of overweight and obese women as beautiful. The debate comes down to those that are "Fat" and "Fashionable" debating that being fat does not affect their ability to be beautiful and/or fashionable and if they do not have a problem with it then nobody else should.

On the other side there are those that believe that they are promoting obesity and being overweight as normal and healthy and this can lead to an increase in weight for women and consequently health issues.

There are also those that believe that being Fat does not mean you can be beautiful, healthy or fashionable. That you have to be a certain size/shape to be beautiful.

As a bigger girl, I have a healthy interest in this debate. As a woman I believe that everyone has the right to look and feel beautiful and fashionable. If you can do that at any size, good for you. I also believe that it is wrong to discriminate against someone just because of their size. What size you are is your personal choice and it is wrong for others to say that because you are a size 20 (for example) then you cannot have a fashionable wardrobe or wear clothes of a certain shape.

I do not agree however that being fat is healthy and should be encouraged. I do not want to see our children and our children's children to become obese at a young age and never know that it is unhealthy. To have them grow up with health issues and never experience a happy healthy life.

I also think that there are many different sizes of "healthy" and that the current fashion industry is only just recognising this. Many "plus" sized models are size 12 and 14!! That is a healthy weight and size and is the average size of Australian women.

I personally would be a happy if I fitted comfortably between the size 12-14 Australian sizes. I do not think of my being size 16 as unhealthy, but I know that I have fat and am not the healthiest I could be. I do not want to encourage others to become like me, because that could lead them to be worse than me. I exercise and I eat well and I know that many people would not see that when they look at me.

I also think that I can be beautiful and fashionable even if I do have fat. This is a picture of me when I was at my lowest. I was still a size 16 and overweight. But I love this picture and I think it is beautiful.

Do you believe that you can be a beautiful and fashionable as a bigger woman? Do you want to encourage obesity and being overweight as healthy? Or would you rather that there was more acceptance of a broader range of shapes and sizes?

As long as we are healthy I think all shapes and sizes should be accepted.

Tuesday, 28 August 2012

THE Dream Body

Everyone has a shape, a goal, a size that they think is healthy, sexy, attractive. Everyone has that dream of what they want to look like when they lose weight.

For some it is simply to be within a healthy weight range. For others it's to be toned all over. A flat stomach. No longer taking medication. Fitting into that dress. Single digit clothing. So on and so forth.

Everyone has a dream of that body.

For me, it is to be healthy, to be fit*, to have a flat stomach. BUT I still want my curves, I still want to have soft tissue. I do not want to ever be too thin. I don't really care about toning. It would be nice, but it is not terribly important.

*Fit is also something that is subjective. To me fit means to be able to get up the stairs without puffing, to be able to do push ups if I want to, to be able to run after a child, and play games without being short of breathe.  A very broad fitness is what I want. I don't need to be able to run for miles on end, to be able to do lift my own body weight ( although that is something I would like to do once!) or any of those things. My main reason for exercising is to be healthy and to do something I enjoy.

Anyways as I was talking about what I want and don't want. I realised everyone's goals are different, everyone's reasons are different.

What is your ideal?

Monday, 27 August 2012

Self Harm and Foods

There are many ways of hurting yourself, and mine was chocolate.

Now this might not sound like I'm doing myself any harm, and was actually rewarding myself, but I wasn't.

You see I get sick from eating rich foods, so cream, chocolate cake, chocolate, anything really rich, and generally sweet and not long after eating some, I would be gagging and trying to bring it up (and not by choice.)

When I was particularly down and unhappy with myself, hating myself for my eating choices, the way I looked, what I was doing to myself and generally having a pity party, I would have to have chocolate.

Except instead of stopping at a couple of pieces I would the entire block until I was physically sick.

And my reasoning for my behaviour? I deserved it. I deserved to be sick for the way I treated myself, for eating the way I did. For being fat, for giving in to temptation, for not being better, stronger, healthier etc etc

Thinking about it now, I realise of course that it was not reasonable, it was not sensible, and it certainly didn't help me and my weight. But of course, like many things, you only see that when you look back.

I still struggle with that today. I still struggle not to punish myself unnecessarily for giving in to temptation, for falling of the band wagon, for having something I shouldn't, or for not reaching my goals in time, for not pushing myself harder, faster, better.

For not being better, stronger, healthier.

And I think a lot of that comes down to my own self perception, and letting go of constantly wanting to be perfect and meet these unrealistic expectations. To try and stop thinking about how people might be judging me for eating chocolate or having an extra slice of pie, when they don't know who I am, what I am trying to do, how hard I have been working.

I feel like when I read blogs about weight loss and they meet success after success and have lost amazing amounts of weight that I have even more pressure to meet those standards.

But then I take a step back, and think, is that really realistic? Is that sustainable? Are they going to be able to maintain that progress in the long term, or are they going to burn up? Or are they simply in a better place, more supported, more motivated than me?

Who am I to say. All I know is that at the moment my own worst enemy is myself. I am the one that puts the pressure on, that says yes or no to that extra slice, that puts in the effort at the training sessions. Or not.

I feel like I need to start taking more responsibility for my actions, and to stop punishing myself for not achieving everything the first time.

Sunday, 19 August 2012

Do I fall into that "fat" stereotype anymore?

So after enjoying a nice long weekend, where I went hot ballooning with my mum and then pretty much crashed most of the rest of the weekend. I was exhausted and all I wanted to do was sleep. Which to me tells me I really needed the sleep as normally I am one of those people that can just go, go, go.

Anyways as I was laying around the house on Friday afternoon, all I could think about was how it irked me that if I told someone about my weekend all they would think was that I was being a typical "fat" person and being lazy.

Now I know there is no "typical" "fat" person or behaviours, everyone is different and often came to be fat/overweight from different reasons, whether it be medical, physical, emotional or behavioural.

But as I was thinking about this, I tried to summarise how I lived, and whether it would fall into that stereotypical category. Because for some reason I really didn't wanted to be associated with that lifestyle anymore.

So here are a few things which I believe are associated with being fat:
  • Watching T.V. - of course everyone does it, but for some reason fat people are associated with it.
Just picture an obese person. What do you get? An overweight man in a sofa with a beer watching telly. Or at least I do.

  • Fast Food.- Going through HJ's/ Macca's. I know this is completely unfair but these are the sort of images that come to mind.
  • Large servings
  • Lack of exercise
  • Anti Social behaviours
  • Smoking/drinking excessively.
  • Snacking-sneakily. This in particulary was a bad behaviour of mine. If noone saw me do it, it was ok.
And now my lifestyle:

I don't drink most of the time. Usually on social/special occasions such as birthdays etc Usually only a glass. (Unless I am being particularly peer pressured.)
I don't smoke.
I don't go through fast food restaurants unless it's 2 am in the morning after being out with friends and I am the DD. Honestly though we're getting a bit old for that, and I can't even remember the last time I did it!

I have my personal training twice a week, and then I also do a large amount of exercise through my job, which is to set up events- so lifting, packing, walking up and down stairs and walking around show grounds etc
If I don't have an event on I try to do something on the weekend, usually taking the dog for a walk, my favourite place is about 15 minutes from where I live and is a national park which has some great trails up and through the bush and hills, so it's not too easy!
This coming weekend I am participating in my 3rd walk for charity event.

Serving sizes is still something I struggle with, mostly because when you live at home, or go out for tea, people are plating up for you, and they tend to be quite large. However I have started to notice that I can leave things on my plate once I am full. This goes against everything I grew up with, but I know I don't need it and now I don't want it either.

Television. TV is a funny one for me. I love movies, I love T.V series. But I hate TV. I can't stand the advertisements and shitty television shows. And somewhere in the past year I have realised that there is no point in wasting my time watching T.V. Sure there will be times that I will sit down with the family and watch a particular show. But mostly I will wait until it comes out on DVD and then watch the DVD. Half the time and double the pleasure of watching it without the ads.

Mostly though I read. To me reading is becoming increasingly rare and outdated and that saddens me. I have read and loved reading for most of my life, and despite most of my job being increasingly online, I hate the idea of reading a book on a e-reader/kindle. Where is the enjoyment in that? 

So now looking at that, looking at how I live, and feel and the things I do, and what I personally associate with being a "fat" lifestyle. Can I honestly say that I fall into that category anymore? Can I blame my lifestyle for my weight? The answer is no. Which only proves just how far I have come.

Tuesday, 14 August 2012

Revisiting my goals

As I was reading some of the posts from the blogs I follow and I was reminded of my weight loss goals and decided it was time to revisit them. It's not that I haven't been thinking about it, but the fact is my goals have  shrunk to things like doing better in training and eating better day to day. I haven't weighed myself  in quite a while, however my clothes are becoming loose so I know I am staying on track. So keeping that in mind, I estimate that I am about 95ish kgs now- I am basing this purely on which clothes I am fitting back into.

July 1st  8kgs                  Smallest I have been in almost 3 years :(
Challenge: Jog for 5 minutes without panting.
Reward: A new handbag.

So I didn't achieved this goal by the date, however I have lost about 10kgs which is rewarding. It's scary to think this is the smallest I have been in about 3 years! I can jog for 5 minutes but I am still breathing hard -but not exhausted.

August 5th  16kgs
Be able to fit into old “skinny” clothes such as jeans, shorts etc
Challenge: Finish a 8km Obstacle course
Reward: Day Spa Treatment

So I didn't achieve this goal by the set date either, but I am on my way there! My new goal is:

New Goal:
September 21st*: 16kgs
Challenge: Hold a plank for 1 minute.
Reward: Hour long massage.
*This is the date for my ball, so hopefully by losing this weight I will fit into my ball dress no problems!

Obviously I am not going to reach my goals by my original set dates, but I am still confident that I can make them within the next 6 months. Fingers crossed. And even if I don't, I know I will have made progress which is achievable and long term. Which to me is far more important.

So for the rest of my goals I am just going to set new dates.

October 31st: September 16th  20kgs
As skinny as I was when I came back from Sweden. Time to reminisce!
Challenge: Do 50 "real" push ups.
Reward: Buying a new pair of Jeans. I haven't bough jeans in about 3 years..

November 30th October 28th 25kgs
Uncharted Territory! It’s time to start thinking about where to go from here..
Challenge: Able to do 10 pull ups (lifting my own body weight)

Reward: Burn all of my old clothes! Have a party to celebrate!

January 1st  November 25th  30kgs
SOOOO Close! Time to start thinking about new clothes/style!
Challenge: Go Bungee Jumping

Monday, 13 August 2012

It's time to get Serious: Monday training

So I tried on my ball dress again last week. While I have had progress, I still have a bit to go. So I mentioned this to my trainer on Friday, and the results were Monday's training session.

Not sure if I'm going to regret my decision to tell her- time will tell!

So yesterday I did a similar session to the one in my Training with a capital T post.

I had to do 10 of each exercise, as fast as I can and then do it all over again!

So to warm up I did a 5 min jog on the treadmill. Then it was straight into it.

The exercises were:

Burpees: (including push up and sand bag). So starting standing up, jump out until your in a push up position, push up, jump back in, grab the sandbag and push that all the way over your head. Bring the sandbag back down to the ground. That's one.

Squats: Move the sandbag back to behind your head so it rests on your shoulders. Settle into a squat and as you come back up jump a little keeping the balls of your feet on the floor. Repeat.

Pushups: You should know how to do these :P

Sit ups: Not your average sit up. Bring your knees up off the ground and then try to reach your ankles. This one is a killer. I feel it EVERY time.

Leg drops: So moving into a crab like position, with your hand facing your knees, and your facing the ceiling, lift one of your legs off the ground until it is out straight then slowly lower it until you butt almost- but doesn't- touches the ground. Put it back down and swap legs.

Knee tucks: You should know these as well.

Lunges: My worst enemy. I just don't have any balance!!

Sit ups: I'm not sure exactly what you call this, but your on your back and with your legs up in the air -picture yourself in an L shape. Then you lower your legs as far as you can without touching the ground and bring back up. 1. Now do the other 9!

Plank Jacks: So your in a push up position, then imagine you're doing a star jump. Hold your core tight and jump your legs out, and then in. This one really works your core and used to be one that I struggled with a lot!

Quarter burpees: Last one! So start by bending over and touching the ground, then jump your legs out as far as you can, then jump back in. That's one.

This one was the one I hated the most!! Everything else I could move through but this one killed.

Afterwards it was straight into a 5 min jog which she slowly brought the time down so that eventually by 3 min I was walking.

This was a great session and I was really proud of myself, there were times when I just wanted to say I couldn't do it, I was too tired, I'd had enough, instead I just took a deep breathe, calmed myself down and got stuck back into it.

Now for Wednesday's session.. now there's a session I'm not looking forward too! I am going to be on the rower and then every time I take a break I am going to be doing stomach exercises, back on the rower, break to stomach exercises.

She also said that she might throw in some boxing moves, which I am very excited with as I used to do twai won do when I was in high school and really enjoyed it.

Oh and homework! She recommended I did these at home. Planks- holding yourself in a push up position (bum down) for as long as possible. Eventually building yourself up to 45 seconds to 2 mins! Side plank jacks- similar thing except your resting on one arm and your toes lifting your body up and hold. Repeat on the other side. 

Now these she said would get your tummy flat! So for all those girls out there who dream of a flat tummy- this is your answer. Not sit ups, which build and strengthen your core, but Planks. And they HURT! But hey it's worth it!.

Sunday, 12 August 2012

Keeping Busy

One of the many things that I struggle with weight loss is how to maintain everything when I get busy. It's like as soon as I have something to do, I take my mind off what I should be eating or exercising and that's it, all my good intentions go out the window.

This weekend was not my best weekend. I caved. BAD. But as I tell myself now, when was the last time you had popcorn, coke and an icecream at the movies, let alone in day to day life? At least 6 months ago, probably more.

When was the last time you had a slice of pavlova (which I heaped the strawberries and banana on btw) .. probably about 6 months ago, if not more.

So when I think about it. I realise it's not so bad. I have been doing really well lately. Cutting back on the number of foods that I buy in packets or premade. Making everything myself. EVEN cutting back on chocolate.

Lately I have also noticed a change in my thinking as well, instead of saying "Well I've already had a piece of chocolate, I might as well eat the cookie as well" I have been saying "Well I had a piece of chocolate so I really shouldn't have that cookie as well." and thinking about what I should do to improve next time.

My goal is that eventually eating healthy will become a habit and I won't have to constantly plan and listen to those voices in my head, that eventually I'll think "I had a yogurt, I don't need the chocolate or the cookie" or some such. Eventually. And it seems I am on my way there.

I think it has something to do with seeing results, and feeling the difference in myself and realising I don't want to be the one to sabotage myself. I don't want to be the reason why I'm not moving forward.

And I am moving forward. On Saturday I went to the shops with a girlfriend and came across a dress that I absolutely loved from Cotton On. Now Cotton On is normally classed as one of those stores that "I used to buy from, but no longer fit into, and therefore only has "skinny sizes" ."  Anyways I'm staring at this dress that I love and I'm like, just try it on, you've been doing really well lately, maybe this will motivate you to lose that bit more to fit into the dress.

The dress is stretchy and skin tight.  AND is not normally something I would think to try on. Being heavier in the stomach and thighs I tend to buy things that sit tight around my bust and waist then flares around my problem area/s.

So this dress definitely didn't fit the bill. But I tried it on, and guess what? It a) fitted! b) looked good! I was in shock, I didn't actually think it would look good! I was waiting for the, oh it looks alright here, but you can still see my stomach there. Except it didn't happen. I liked the way it looked. Sure it would look way better on me if I lost another 10kgs. But it still looked good. It was like a dance up and down and squeal with excitement moment!!

Also looking at the sizing chart, I chose a large, which is the equivalent of an AU size 14- one size down! (Which is an equivalent of a US size 10.)

You can see the dress here

So from now on I am putting that dress at the front of my wardrobe, to remind me of how well I have done, and not to go back!

It's a new week ahead and it's time to start again with a clean slate and stop guilt tripping myself.

I have done well, I will do better.