The benefits of losing weight- shopping!

I had forgotten how good it feels to be able to fit into smaller clothes. To see something nice in a shop and think, oh that looks like it will fit- and it does.

I had forgotten how much I avoid certain shops, because their clothes were on the smaller side.

I had forgotten how much I relied on stretchy fabric and flowing designs to hide my figure.

Yesterday reminded me how much I had changed.

Yesterday I was looking in Myer and killing some time when I happened to be walking through Cue and noticed some stunning dresses. Dresses that I would not have looked at before this journey. Dresses that I still thought I probably wouldn't fit into- even if it said a size 16!

Anyways, I decided to try it on. What the hell. If it didn't fit then at least that was motivation to continue on my journey.

They didn't have a 16, only a 14. And this was not a stretchy fabric or loose dress. This was fitted around the boobs and waist before flairing out around the hips- perfect for my pear shaped figure.

I pulled the zip up and it stopped and I turned to check the back, wondering how far I had gotten, imagining that it had snagged just above my waist (where I flair back out again). And realised that the zip was at the top of the dress!

You cannot imagine how excited I was.

IT FIT!

I was in a size 14, fitted, amazing, gorgeous dress from a brand that I had always loved but thought I would never wear.

AMAZING.

I was on a shopping high.

As someone that has been slowly losing weight, you often don't notice the transformation as much as others around you.

This was one of those moments when you just need to do a happy dance and be grateful for all the hardwork that you've done. Wearing that dress is definitely worth it!

Something that hurts

Something that always manages to hurt is other people's snide comments about what I eat. They seem to think that because they catch me eating a piece of chocolate or some hot chips that it gives them the right to criticise what I am doing.

They seem to think that just because I am not 100% sugar free, wheat free, dairy free etc etc that I don't eat healthy. That I am not doing 'enough'.

It makes me so angry and then it makes me sad.

Because every time I hear those comments I wonder why I don't push myself more, why I don't make those simply changes. Why I don't go harder, faster, longer...

It makes me feel like I'm not doing enough. As if I'm the failure.

Despite going from not exercising at all to exercising 5 times a week.

From constantly snacking in my room after dinner to not snacking after dinner at all.

From barely touching fruit to eating fruit every morning, and feeling weird when I don't.

From skipping breakfast to eating cereal or wholegrain toast with boiled eggs every morning.

From shovelling fast food into me while in my car when I was hungry but too ashamed for anyone to see what I was eating.

From having fast food almost every week to less than once a month.

From drinking soft drink or juice every week to next to nothing.

From cutting back my meat consumption and increasing my fish and vegetables.

From going from someone who was about to go into a size 20 pants to someone who has to now go into a size 16. One size away from my goal.

From someone who was ashamed and disgusted with themselves and what their body looked like to someone who has finally rediscovered their confidence and joy in life. Who is HAPPY and who is HEALTHY and who is constantly improving.

Yes I am not 100% organic, sugar and wheat free. But my god I am a billion times better than what I was .

So SHUT THE F*** UP.

Working-out.

I don't often post about what sort of work outs I do each week, mostly because I assume people are aware of the different work outs you can do and because this blog is pretty much just for me to blurt out all my feelings about weight loss.

So lately I have been working out quite a bit. Well at least for me I have. I have been doing 2 x hour PT sessions a week, 2 X GX Boxing sessions and when I miss one as I have had to work late, I have been doing a stairs session.

PT

This is amazing. I changed from going to the gym to getting a PT over a year ago now. I started doing just 2 x 30 minutes a week and I could immediately tell the difference between PT and going to the gym. Unless you're dedicated, motivated and educated in the different exercises you can and should do, I feel like the gym can be a bit of waste of time.

For example I would go to the gym 3x a week, work out for at least 45 minutes and just do cardio, bike riding mostly. Just because I thought that would be what burnt calories and what I was comfortable doing. I definitely wasn't comfortable doing weights or classes and I always tried to go to the gym at off peak times to avoid being seen by others. Yes I was afraid of being judged.

PT pushes me, it challenges me to do things with my body that I would never have thought of doing. It has shown me time and time again that I am capable of more than I thought I was. It makes me feel strong and healthy and I keep going back despite the pain haha. This means to me that this is right for me.

Starting this year I stared doing 2x 1 hour session after some pushing from my trainer. My trainer thought I wouldn't come back after my hour session! But I realised that I could do it and that I needed to constantly push myself to keep going and not plateau. This is where GX came in.

 

GX Boxing

GX is a form of high intensity boxing. Or rather exercising using boxing moves. So no fighting in the ring! We do several punch/kick combinations, each one 3 times and rotating with your partner. (You hit, they hit etc) The first time is to get used to the moves, the second is for strength (hit as hard as you can) and third for speed.

After your punches/kicks we always end with 2 minute knock out rounds. This is where my trainer (who runs these classes) chooses 3 exercises and we have to do each one for 2 minutes. This could be squats, lunges, burpees, push ups, planks, sit ups etc etc it changes constantly.

It is amazing and sweaty and makes you feel strong and powerful and even 6 months in I still feel it the next day.

Stairs

Stairs is something I have only recently started doing. Again from being pushed by my trainer. She runs a class on Thursday nights at the local stairs (30 steps approx). Usually we do something like 5 (up and down) stairs then push ups. 5 stairs, tricep dips, 5 stairs something else. Usually about 25-30 stairs before ending with an ab workout.

It is exhausting and I hate it. But it is a great work out and means that I can keep doing 4 sessions a week even if I miss one of my other classes.

The main thing I love about these work outs is that they challenge me. I never feel like something is getting too easy, because the work outs are always changing and getting harder.

I also love the mix of weights and cardio. I love weights and I hate cardio, but I know I need to do cardio as well. I feel like I am building muscle and losing fat and slowly cardio is getting easier for me. Easier not Easy!

Last night I tried on some pants that I kept from when I was at my smallest. I can now get them up over my thighs but I cannot do them up. Needless to say I had mixed feelings. Joy that I could get them up so far and am so close to being back to where I used to be and disappointment that I was so small and let myself go and am still not at that point anymore.

Ah well. I am probably healthier and stronger mentally and physically than I was anyway. Always look on the bright side!

Seeking balance and making new goals.

Lately I have been quite busy, with work and my social life, training and starting to date again.

It's left me feeling a bit scattered, unorganised and not in the right space mentally.

Thankfully for me starting this weekend I will get some down time and can finally relax and get myself on track.

A few things that have been happening lately:

I have started an online interior design course, which I just submitted my first assignment for and am now starting the second. It has been a few years since I studied and it's surprising how hard it is to get back into it, but I enjoy design and history, so I'm quite liking the course.

I am building a house. I am just finalising the home loan papers and then I have to start picking out my colours, ranges, tiles etc and all that. So that is going to be taking up some of my time and money. But it will be well worth it next year when I move into my own home.

I have started doing stairs with my trainer, this means that I am working out a minimum of 4 sessions a week, sometimes 5. It also gives me more variety and something else to try and improve. It is both disheartening and encouraging working out with women who are 10 years older than me and who are fitter and healthier than me. Thankfully they have also been on this journey a lot longer than me.

I have started dating again. Jesus, what was I thinking? It has been both nice and disappointing. Nice to know that there are genuinely nice guys out there and that I must have something going for me. Disappointing because I have yet to find anyone that I have a connection with. Plus there are some serious losers out there. Sad, but true.

I am slowly undergoing a make over. Longer more natural looking hair. Getting my nails done, and changing my style a bit. I want something a bit classier but still a little eccentric. I like my bows, buttons, patterns etc but time to tone it down a little. I want something more sleek and toned- kinda like the body I want!

I am trying to get my arse together and organise a few trips before I move into my house and have a mortgage. Hopefully go to Ireland, Canada and maybe Fiji or something. I want to do something because I know once I have a mortgage money and time will be hard to find and it will be at least a few years before I will be able to go travelling again!

Lastly, I have decided that when I move into my house I want to have a few of these things done. Like travel plans out of the way. Down to my goal weight (I really hope so!). Finish my interior design course. This is giving me some motivation to get things done- it's only a year away after all!

This year was/is for me and my personal life. Next year it will be about financial goals and getting some more experience/tools/training under my belt. Do some volunteering and work experience (interior design) and start looking at my career goals. That and I suspect I will be focusing a lot on DIY and craft things for my house. :D

As you can see a lot going on and a lot more to come. But I want to live life to the fullest so that means tackling things now, not later. Particularly as I want to have a family and who knows how that will affect my time and money.

Embarrasing boxing sessions!

So last night was my GX boxing class at 5.30pm. I put on a pear of exercise pants that I haven't worn in a little while and head out the door.

We start getting into our boxing session, doing a lot of kicks and knee exercises and I can feel my pants starting to fall down. The first time we take a break I take off my gloves and haul my pants back up.

But then we start going a bit harder and faster and before I know it my trainer has to step in and pull my pants up because they're half way down my arse.

Thank god a) it's an all female class and b) I was wearing good undies!! It could have been soooo much worse.

All I can say is that at least my work outs and eating have payed off!

I still need to work on my eating habits, as I've slipped up a few times, but I have cut back a lot of my processed foods lately and upped my fruit and veg intake instead. Still struggling with portion sizes with some days acing it and others not so much. But the days where I am doing better is getting more and more. It's hard in winter when all you want is comfort food and to snuggle in bed.

At the moment I'm concentrating on reducing my sweets/chocolate intake as for a while there I was  having a chocolate (fun size) almost every day. That's not something I want to maintain!

I want to keep it to maybe once or twice a week, mostly on weekends when I might enjoy sharing a dessert over dinner or a muffin with a friend over coffee.

At the moment I'm about 3 times a week. So a lot better to what I was but still not where I want to be!

Here is a recent photo of me with my friends from a weekend away :)

Teeth, headaches, sunshine and Funruns!

Ok, so here is a bit of an update of what is happening over the last week or so:

I'm going halves with mum and building a house. Needless to say there is a lot of paperwork and stress and organising going on.

I have been getting headaches every day because I was grinding my teeth. So I had to get a splint (mouth guard) to wear at night. $500 dollars later and I no longer have headaches-hurray!!

Because of the headaches I wasn't getting much sleep and got sick and had to take a few days off life- work, exercise, friends. I just rested. Now I feel so much better!

It's coming into winter here and highlights just how much I love the sunshine. I get up early and I go to bed early, because of the daylight. Now of course there is so little daylight I get depressed and just want to sleep and read and snuggle in bed. This weekend was glorious and we had so much sunlight it was amazing. I felt like I spent most of it soaking it up, through walks or reading outdoors or playing with the dogs. Hopefully it lasts me a little while.

Yesterday instead of training we did a 6k Funrun with my trainer and a few of the other girls. I think I did alright. Running is something I absolutely hate and don't get. I jogged as much as I could and walked the rest. Today I'm so sore. But I feel good for giving something different a whirl and pushing myself to try stuff even if I don't like it.

I have been getting back into healthy eating again after slipping while I was tired and had headaches. It really is about being well rested and alert that keeps me on track. I'm finding that more and more I don't need to eat as much. I still get hungry regularly, but I don't eat as much at each sitting. I'm also craving fruit and salad rolls/sandwiches.

I got myself organised on the weekend- things like organising my paperwork and folders, clothes that need to be chucked out etc and now feel like my mind is a bit more organised too. Now I want to concentrate on getting myself to eat well all the time, not just Monday-Friday.

I also want to concentrate on giving myself so me time. I'm an introvert and really need to time to myself to process everything and centre myself and lately that's the first thing that gets thrown out the window.

So no more doing that! It might be doing a bit of arts and crafts or reading a book or a long shower and pamper session (doing my nails, a face mask etc) to just wind down.

Well that's the goal anyway! I'm still doing my exercise and doing well. Still losing weight and toning up, as shown by my loose exercise pants.

Happy Tuesday!

Oh wait! I forgot to tell you! I bought another pair of JEANS! Yes that's right, you heard me! Size 16! They look great on me and are actually comfy! :D

Old clothes, new body!

On Saturday night I was heading out with the girls for dinner to celebrate my friends birthday. At the moment I'm living with my sister with limited clothes until we move into our new house (2 weeks away!)

Anyways, so my clothing is limited at the moment. As soon as they walked into my house I knew I had to go find something else to wear, they all looked dressed up and I was wearing a very casual shirt and skirt combo. So I quickly went out into the garage and searched for my suitcase full of clothes that I had packed away. When I opened it I knew straight away that I had very little chance of finding what I was looking for!

So I grabbed the first two dresses I could find then went and tried them on. The dress I chose to wear was one that was a little bit tight when I bought it, not uncomfortably so, but it was fitted. When I tried it on, it was loose! Luckily I had bought it fitted otherwise I wouldn't be able to wear it!

You can imagine my delight and surprise! I had only bought the dress not long before Christmas and had worn it once.

It's nice to see progress in my clothes! And to know that what I am doing is paying off!! Lately I have been exhausted from training and still doing really well with food, even when I slip a little- it is only a little! Then I just get back on it again.

Let's hope this continues and I can get into my size 14 jeans that I have packed away somewhere, it will be the first time EVER (that I remember) fitting into a size 14 pair of jeans!! :)

Hope everyone is going well and sticking to their training, be strong, be brave and remember: you are worth it! xo

Setting February Goals

So what are your goals this month?

Despite grabbing Macca's on the way home.. that's Micky D's for you Americans.. I'm feeling pretty good about Feb so far. Possibly because my food intake in general has been really good, lots of fruit and veg, eating my cereal every morning and exercising more.

Less stress is also a huge one! I'm feeling far more relaxed and determined this year, that might sound like a contradiction, but being stress free about other things unblocks my mind to focus on me.

So let's keep that determination going with some monthly goals!

1. Before each training session I want to jog around the park.

So normally before boxing (which is at a park next to my trainers house) she would make us jog around the park as a warm up. I suck at running. I'm too heavy, I haven't done it in a while, and I start panting before I even start running (jks). Anyways I decided that I wanted to get better at this, and to stop myself from being the only one who can't jog the whole thing I would do it every time I go to training. So far so good!

2. Get a massage.

Ok, so probably not what you are expecting right? But I have been reading a few articles lately that say how important it is to treat yourself and your body with things other than food.. and massage was a suggestion. Seeing as I have only ever had a massage once in my life, and because now finally things have settled down and starting to be less stressed I thought it would be really nice to treat me, mum and my sister to a massage.

3. Eat fruit every day.

Ok so I haven't done this every day, but most days so far. I know a lot of people go on about not eating too much fruit, but I am one of those people. The benefits far outweigh any natural sugar you might consume. That and for me it curbs my sugar craving for unhealthy foods such as chocolate. I also really struggle to eat fruit, unless it's in front of me, chopped up and ready to eat, I probably won't eat it. So I want to change that.

4. Simplify my food.

Something I have been noticing lately is that if I reduce the number of ingredients in my food, it is a lot easier to prepare, I know exactly what it's in it,  and often incorporates more of the things that benefits me. Such as having a steak and veg, and no gravy. Having a ham and lettuce sandwich rather than some fancy salad, kebab or other prepared meal that I don't know what it contains. I can also focus more on what I am eating and each flavour involved.

5. Reduce my lunch sizes, increase my snacks.

So I tried increasing my lunch size so that I wouldn't snack outside of the 3 meals and it didn't work. Instead I was eating a massive lunch, dinner and snacks. NOT GOOD! So now I am going to reduce my lunch size and increase the size of my snacks. Clearly I am going to snack no matter what, so I need to make sure I can incorporate this into my diet. For snacks I have the choice of yogurt, fruit or corn cruskits with avocado and ham. 

Woo a few more goals than I thought I would do! But I think each of these are really important and if I can do them, even for just 80% of the time, then I will be in a lot better place by March!

**On a side note, I am finding it difficult to find clothes at the moment, my body shape is changing and what I know used to look good on my shape has now changed. I am also well and truly fitting into size 16 clothes- one of my personal goals, and one step closer to my final goal of getting into a size 14!

Inprovements:fitness related

So last night was my last session over the Christmas period. Not because I am lazy and cutting it short, but because I fly out this Friday for 3 weeks in Sweden!

So to celebrate my trainer made me revisit one of our previous sessions and see how well I have improved. I think I did this session maybe about a month or so ago now?

Basically it is 4 exercises which you have to do 10 of at a time and complete 3 rounds in as fast as time as you can. I believe last time I just made it through 3 rounds before my half hour was up.

This time I smashed the 3 rounds and still had 10 minutes to spare. So she made me do leg drops (one of my least favourite exercises) except that even these went well for me!

So today, despite feeling a tad sore, I am feeling mightily pleased with myself for improving.

I have also promised her I will try and do something everyday that I am away and that I will send her a picture of snow, and me exercising. Otherwise I might get a message on facebook checking up on me :P

Got to love me trainer!

Looking into the new year, I have already decided that I would like to amp up my exercise. At the moment I am doing 2x 30 min personal training sessions a week and a 45min boxing session. I think next year I would like to up my PT sessions to an hour, and am still deciding whether to do another boxing session, or to try something else.

This will probably be my last post before I go away, as I can't guarantee Internet access while I'm away, so I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and I hope that the new year brings everyones new found resolutions and dedication a wonderful reward.

xox

Progress!

I am sitting at work in a size smaller skirt! That has a zip! Woohoo!

This is a big moment for me! All my hard work is paying off, I am ONE SIZE away from my goal :)

Motivation:

Ok something that I have done for a while now in order to motivate myself is to refuse to wear bigger size clothing. I refused to go buy more clothes that fit into the "plus" sized family.

That meant that I wasn't allowed jeans, skirts, pants etc until I could get into the next size down.

It was a bit of a struggle at times, and I am glad that I am finally making progress as I need work clothes, but it is a great feeling to know I have succeeded!

People asked me, why does it matter? Can't you just get the next size up? Especially my mother when I really liked a skirt/pair of jeans but I couldn't quite fit into them.

The answer was NO. As I tried to explain to mum, that was a line that I wasn't willing to cross. That was what had got me this far, by not fitting into clothes and refusing to buy bigger clothes I HAD to make changes, I had to exercise and get smaller, otherwise I wouldn't have any clothes to wear.

And it worked and it feels amazing :)

To know that I am actually wearing a size smaller skirt, one that does not have an elastic waistband or is made of cotton or something really stretchy is like a dream come true.

Not only that but I am only one size up from being a size 14: my goal size. So close!

I still struggle with jeans, so that is my next motivator. To fit into a pair of jeans. Especially as I need some for my December trip to Sweden!

Does anyone else have a motivator that might not make sense to others? Something that has helped you to start to make those changes in your life?

Revisiting my goals

As I was reading some of the posts from the blogs I follow and I was reminded of my weight loss goals and decided it was time to revisit them. It's not that I haven't been thinking about it, but the fact is my goals have  shrunk to things like doing better in training and eating better day to day. I haven't weighed myself  in quite a while, however my clothes are becoming loose so I know I am staying on track. So keeping that in mind, I estimate that I am about 95ish kgs now- I am basing this purely on which clothes I am fitting back into.


July 1st  8kgs                  Smallest I have been in almost 3 years :(
Challenge: Jog for 5 minutes without panting.
Reward: A new handbag.
So I didn't achieved this goal by the date, however I have lost about 10kgs which is rewarding. It's scary to think this is the smallest I have been in about 3 years! I can jog for 5 minutes but I am still breathing hard -but not exhausted.

August 5th  16kgs
Be able to fit into old “skinny” clothes such as jeans, shorts etc
Challenge: Finish a 8km Obstacle course
Reward: Day Spa Treatment.

So I didn't achieve this goal by the set date either, but I am on my way there! My new goal is:

New Goal:
September 21st*: 16kgs
Challenge: Hold a plank for 1 minute.
Reward: Hour long massage.
*This is the date for my ball, so hopefully by losing this weight I will fit into my ball dress no problems!

Obviously I am not going to reach my goals by my original set dates, but I am still confident that I can make them within the next 6 months. Fingers crossed. And even if I don't, I know I will have made progress which is achievable and long term. Which to me is far more important.

So for the rest of my goals I am just going to set new dates.

October 31st: September 16th  20kgs
As skinny as I was when I came back from Sweden. Time to reminisce!
Challenge: Do 50 "real" push ups.
Reward: Buying a new pair of Jeans. I haven't bough jeans in about 3 years..


November 30th October 28th 25kgs
Uncharted Territory! It’s time to start thinking about where to go from here..
Challenge: Able to do 10 pull ups (lifting my own body weight)
Reward: Burn all of my old clothes! Have a party to celebrate!

January 1st  November 25th  30kgs
SOOOO Close! Time to start thinking about new clothes/style!
Challenge: Go Bungee Jumping
Reward: SHOPPING SPREE!!!

Keeping Busy

One of the many things that I struggle with weight loss is how to maintain everything when I get busy. It's like as soon as I have something to do, I take my mind off what I should be eating or exercising and that's it, all my good intentions go out the window.

This weekend was not my best weekend. I caved. BAD. But as I tell myself now, when was the last time you had popcorn, coke and an icecream at the movies, let alone in day to day life? At least 6 months ago, probably more.

When was the last time you had a slice of pavlova (which I heaped the strawberries and banana on btw) .. probably about 6 months ago, if not more.

So when I think about it. I realise it's not so bad. I have been doing really well lately. Cutting back on the number of foods that I buy in packets or premade. Making everything myself. EVEN cutting back on chocolate.

Lately I have also noticed a change in my thinking as well, instead of saying "Well I've already had a piece of chocolate, I might as well eat the cookie as well" I have been saying "Well I had a piece of chocolate so I really shouldn't have that cookie as well." and thinking about what I should do to improve next time.

My goal is that eventually eating healthy will become a habit and I won't have to constantly plan and listen to those voices in my head, that eventually I'll think "I had a yogurt, I don't need the chocolate or the cookie" or some such. Eventually. And it seems I am on my way there.

I think it has something to do with seeing results, and feeling the difference in myself and realising I don't want to be the one to sabotage myself. I don't want to be the reason why I'm not moving forward.

And I am moving forward. On Saturday I went to the shops with a girlfriend and came across a dress that I absolutely loved from Cotton On. Now Cotton On is normally classed as one of those stores that "I used to buy from, but no longer fit into, and therefore only has "skinny sizes" ."  Anyways I'm staring at this dress that I love and I'm like, just try it on, you've been doing really well lately, maybe this will motivate you to lose that bit more to fit into the dress.

The dress is stretchy and skin tight.  AND is not normally something I would think to try on. Being heavier in the stomach and thighs I tend to buy things that sit tight around my bust and waist then flares around my problem area/s.

So this dress definitely didn't fit the bill. But I tried it on, and guess what? It a) fitted! b) looked good! I was in shock, I didn't actually think it would look good! I was waiting for the, oh it looks alright here, but you can still see my stomach there. Except it didn't happen. I liked the way it looked. Sure it would look way better on me if I lost another 10kgs. But it still looked good. It was like a dance up and down and squeal with excitement moment!!

Also looking at the sizing chart, I chose a large, which is the equivalent of an AU size 14- one size down! (Which is an equivalent of a US size 10.)

You can see the dress here http://shop.cottonon.com/shop/product/ariella-peplum-dress-6/

So from now on I am putting that dress at the front of my wardrobe, to remind me of how well I have done, and not to go back!

It's a new week ahead and it's time to start again with a clean slate and stop guilt tripping myself.

I have done well, I will do better.

Training with a capital T.

So I had personal training last night, and all day I was like "I'm sore, I'm tired, I really don't want to go to training". But I did. Because I know it's good for me, and because I am starting to see results, and on the way home from work, thinking about that, I was like "You know what? I am tired, I am sore, and I have been sick and haven't being giving it my all this last week. So today I am going to go HARD."

So I did. But I swear my personal trainer had the same thoughts as me because crikey did she have a work out planned! I have to say I am very pleased with myself, I did more than I thought I would and I didn't need to stop as much as I normally would. I think my trainer was happy - and so was I . I was proud of what I had done.

So to give you an idea of the work out I did, and also because most of these can be done at home, and because I'm thinking of doing some at home in my spare time- but if I don't write them down I'll forget them all!!

So what it was was a circuit basically, with 50 seconds doing as many of the exercises you can and then a 20 second break. You do the circuit twice. (Or more, but I only train for 30 minutes, with 5 min warm up, 5 min cool down and stretch)

Exercise 1. 4 Sumo squats, 4 lunges. Repeat as many times within the 50 seconds.

A sumo squat is a deeper, wider squat which instead of going straight into the next squat after you come back up, you bring one leg up as high as you can and back down. Squat, come back up and then bring your other leg out and as high as you can. So basically you kind of look like a sumo as they're getting ready to wrestle. =P

Exercise 2. 2 Push ups, turn it into a burpee and tuck jump. Repeat.

So push ups everyone gets- then you have to jump in with your legs, jump up and tuck your legs up to your knees and then down. Repeat.

Exercise 3. She calls these the "Crab" . Repeat.

So the crabs is where you are in a bend back position ( so basically you look like your a weird table facing the roof) and then you have to bring your arm up and the opposite leg up to touch. Repeat on the other side.

WARNING: THIS ONE WAS HARD!! ( At least for me, I think this one was the one I struggled with the most!!)

Exercise 4. 6 Hikers (?) not sure exactly the name and 6 star jumps. Repeat.

So your on the ground in a push up position ( a real push up!) and then you pretend your climbing a ladder, bringing your knee up counts as 1. Then you jump up and do star jumps. Repeat.

Exercise 5. Sit ups with a medicine ball. Repeat.

So a normal sit up except you start with the medicine ball on the ground behind your head with your arms fully stretched out, then bring the medicine ball to your feet. Repeat. I started with a 5kgs medicine ball and then I used a 7kg for the next one to make it harder. Yes that was my choice!! ( what was I thinking??)

Exercise 6. These she called "Get ups". Repeat as many as you can in 50 seconds.

So you start on your back with a 3-5 kg weight in your arm. Your arm is held straight up in the air. You now have to get up onto your feet while keeping that arm straight! ( This is hard- just because the urge to bend your arm is so hard to resist!!) anyways once you get back up, you have to get back down. Once you're back on the ground in the position where you started you swap arms and then do it all again!

Exercise 7. So another version of a squat. You hold a sand bag at chest height - do five squats and as you stand up, push the sand bag up over your head. Bring back down as you move into a squat. After that stay in the squat and do 5 mini squats- so basically don't stand fully up. Repeat as many as you can in 50 seconds.

Exercise 8. Another version of a sit up.

Lie on your back, bring your legs up so that so that your knees are bent. Then try and touch your ankles. Repeat as many times as you can in the 50 seconds.

There were two more exercises, but now I can't remember them! Ah well. You get the idea. At the end of the training I felt like I was a wet rag. My limbs were really loose and floppy ha ha

But as you can see the majority of these would be great to do at home- if you don't have the weights I'm sure you could substitute it with something else that weighs the same.

Another exercise which I love targets your love handles. AND it's not hard!! But boy do you feel it the next day! So your standing and you have a weight (or a tin is what my trainer suggest if you're at home) in one hand, you basically just lower the weight until you have fully stretched the other side. Repeat 10 times and then swap sides. It's that easy! :)

Anyone got some good exercises that they do at home in between sessions?

Learning to love Myself.

Something which I have always struggled with, is loving who I am as a person, and what I look like as a whole.

In general there are things that I love about myself, my hair, eyes and lips. My quirky tastes in fashion, design and books.

But in general, what with the whole FAT- thing going on, I don't generally think of myself as WHOLE.

As I am doing more training, I am learning to love what I can do, I can do sit-ups non stop for a minute. I can do squats fro two minutes non stop. I can do burpees and push ups (not very good ones, but hey I'm working on it)

Slowly but surely I am learning to love myself. I love that standing up relaxed (not sucking in my belly) my stomach is NOT the biggest (OMG I HAVE BOOBS!!). I love that my pants are getting more and more loose, and the dresses flow smoothly over my hips and stomach.

I love losing weight and gaining strength and muscle and tone. I love learning more about what I CAN do, not what I CAN'T do.

I love learning about the new me. :)

23rd July 2012. Almost a year on.

It has been almost a year since I first decided that I must do something about my weight loss. A year since I got my first job after uni and realised I now had the time and money to focus on me and my health. A year since I realised that now was the time to lose the weight.... before I found Mr. Right, before I decided I wanted to have kids, before I travelled again. Before things got harder and life got in the way.

My dream was to find something sustainable and that fitted me. Something that I could do for the rest of my life and not get bored or feel like it's a chore or a duty. Something I enjoyed and was good for me.

That meant a lot of hard thinking, and looking into the core of myself and discovering WHY I am like this way. WHY I have this problem in the first place. And HOW to make it better. HOW to combat the "whys".

And what I discovered is that I love food. Particularly when I am bored. Or emotional. Or stressed. Or hungry.

And once I discovered that- I could learn to put things in place to combat my cravings when at times all I wanted to do is down a bottle of soda and eat myself to oblivion with ice cream.

 Bored, stressed, emotional. These are the hardest and I still struggle with them. But I am slowly learning that there are two ways for me to combat these; relaxation and exercise. Relaxation is my first point of call, this does not mean being lazy, but simply doing something for me.

Usually this includes drawing, reading, walking, taking photo's or baking. Something creative.

The other end of that is when I am so wired relaxation isn't going to help. These are the times when chilling and taking it slow, just aren't good enough. And that's where exercise comes in. I take what I have learnt at my training sessions and do a little more. Or I try to do something more active, jog to the letter box ( I live on a property, so my letter box is like 500 metres a way ) or jog with the dog. Do sit ups in front of the television. Lift weights. Something to take my mind off what I am thinking and get rid of my nervous, stressful energy.

The good thing about exercise is that it makes me happy, it makes me less likely to stress or get emotional, because twice a week I feel like I am going through my very own therapy sessions and get everything out. Not this constant building of stress and pressure.

I have realised that there are times when I feel so hungry that I just want to devour the nearest, easiest and yummiest thing there is, and the reason for it is that I don't eat the right foods, or enough of them.

I would eat a small portion, only to feel hungry not that long after and wonder why. Other people ate the same amount and they stayed full, I said.

It took me a while to realise it was what I was eating, not how much. I need to eat often and in small portions, with protein in almost all my meals.

This is hard to do, mostly for taste reasons. So it takes planning. Planning what I am going to eat for breakfast, lunch and snacks. Just so that I am full and sated and don't turn into some hunger crazed sugar obsessed monster in the afternoon. :P

So a year from when I started this journey, this snail trail to weight loss, and I have learnt some of the reasons why. I have learnt some the hows and now finally I am on a path that I believe will be sustainable and healthy and will be a path I can follow for the rest of my life.

There are things that are emotional that I need to deal with still, how I look, how I feel about myself as a person. As a person who happens to be fat, not a fat person. But I no longer feel like this is impossible, after all I got this far didn't I?