Keep the compliments coming please

So I have been going to PT on Mondays and Fridays and this will be the end of my second week. To be honest when I first started out I was scared out of my mind that I'll be black and blue for the 5 weeks I had booked myself into. While I have been in pain and sore from using muscles long unused it actually has been quite a good experience.

I think of it as a kind of Therapy Session, I can talk about what I want to talk about and I can work out all my issues on the bike or the punch bags. Not bad really, I come away feeling done in and quite relaxed.

I've started doing things at home again, like doing extra push ups ( yes I can actually do some!!) and lunges etc to get used to them again and I can feel like I am starting to slowly change. Like coming out of winter hibernation, except here we're actually going into winter.. :P If Perth ever actually goes into Winter.

And while I am slowly getting back into the rhythm again, people have been noticing. My friends and family have been commenting that I have lost weight in my face and seem more toned, that I am eating better and seem in a better place.

So now I don't really have a choice, I have to keep continuing with my sessions, because they are working, and they are doing amazing things. I will be looking at my measurements again this weekend. I did them about 2 months ago now and am a tiny bit curious to see whether there is any change.. I hope so, not because I desperately want to see results, but because it would be good to see the change happening reflected on the outside too!

Found this photo of myself and my sister as I was rummaging through photos. Sadly this probably one of the few photos before I started gaining weight.

I was red riding hood and my sister was Santa's Helper :)

Breaking free

So this weekend has been a nightmare. Emotions have run high and I have had to face up to a few things. Namely to do with friendships.

So I have been going through a lot lately, home stuff and health stuff. And a lot of that has been affecting how I have been with friends.

Not to say that my friends aren't great. But they have their own problems, and because I know they have their own problems I don't talk to them about my own. Or at least that's what I have been trying to do.

One of my friends lashed out at me over the weekend telling me to grow up and deal with things and to not take it out on her. Which was what I was trying to do, but apparently I hadn't done as good a job of it as I thought.

The problem is that I also think this has been brewing a while, and I'm not sure if it's all to do with me, or a culmination of things and it left me feeling hurt, betrayed and like I couldn't trust my friends anymore.

I mean if I'm not dealing with this as well as I thought and instead of understanding I get anger, then how I am supposed to trust them or talk to them about things. Who am I supposed to talk to about coping or moving on?

So I came to the decision that it was time to take a break from my group of friends. Clearly they need a break from  me, and I can't deal with my stuff at home and with friends lashing out at me at things that I can't control. I am who I am, and unfortunately that means I don't bottle things inside from everyone.

The thing is I know that this has been a long time coming. We have known each other since high school, and we have all changed so much, and gone through so much, that we are all different people from when we started this friendship. And I can't help thinking that, what if we have all changed so much, that our friendship is based on the past, and not the present. In which case this time out might make or break our friendships for good.

It might be good to know whether we can still survive this and come out the other end. It might also mean that I lose friends that are no longer there for me or who I have changed so much that we are no longer best friends, but simply friends.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure about anything.

Fat Traps

http://health.ninemsn.com.au/dietandnutrition/healthysnacks/8459891/top-10-worst-fat-traps

I think the 3.23pm afternoon snack has got to be my fat  trap. I have gradually gotten out of the habit of having a popcorn and coke when I go to the movies, and luckily my work place is quite good and healthy. My other fat trap would be my friends, who do not eat healthily, or do any exercise or sports and it can be really hard not to join them!

Does anyone have a particular Fat Trap that they find hard to avoid? How do you fight it?

Memory Lane and lots of Pain.

That is what I am expecting this afternoon as I watch the clock creep up to 6pm. Tonight is my first personal training session, and I am expecting to be crippled tomorrow.

On one hand I am excited as I am starting to get motivated and in the swing of things again, eating better, and wanting to excercise, and now hopefully do things better with some guidance.

However I know this will not be easy, I know this will be painful.

Saying that I have been going through some of my old notes, stored on this computer, from when I first started this journey in November 2011.

I am surprised to see how much progress I have made, when I feel that I haven't progressed at all, especially when it comes to food.

Foods to eliminate: 

Chocolate- I have just gone through a month without chocolate and no longer feel the cravings I used to
Alcohol- Only drink at special occasions.
Artificial Sweeteners-
Chips, lollies, sweets- I have cut down on these dramatically. I can't even remember the last time I had a packet of chips..
Soft drink-A work in progress..

Foods to be avoided:
Full Fat Dairy Products- Done :)
Juice
White flour foods such as baked goods, bread, pastries etc -Besides bread, I have pretty much eliminated the rest!!


Foods to limit:
Dairy- I only have milk in my coffee, and the occassional yoghurt or piece of cheese now :)
Coffee- hmmm not sure I'm EVER going to kick this habit...
Foods to increase:
Vegetables- Check
Fruits- CheckHealthy Protein- CheckHerbs, spices- working on it
Legumes- working on it

Goals for losing weight: Here is where I have struggled. Now to readjust my goals.

July 1st December 2011: 8kgs                  Smallest I have been in almost 3 years :(
Challenge: Jog for 5 minutes without panting.
Reward: A new handbag.

August 5th February 2012: 16kgs
Be able to fit into old “skinny” clothes auch as jeans, shorts etc
Challenge: Finish a 8km Obstacle course
Reward: Day Spa Treatment.
September 16th  March 2012: 20kgs
As skinny as I was when I came back from Sweden. Time to reminisce!
Also MY BIRTHDAY!!
Challenge: Do 50 "real" push ups with ease.
Reward: Buying a new pair of Jeans. I haven't bough jeans in about 3 years..

October 28th May 2012: 25kgs
Unchartered Territory! It’s time to start thinking about where to go from here..
Challenge: Jog for 10 kms.
Reward: Burn all of my old clothes! Have a party to celebrate!

November 25th July 2012: 30kgs
SOOOO Close! Time to start thinking about new clothes/style!
Challenge: Go Bungy Jumping
Reward: SHOPPING SPREE!!!
Total: 30kgs by the end November 2012 :)

What do you think, am I being realistic? Do I need to give myself more time?

Diet Tweaks

So after almost a week of eating my so called diet, I need to make a few tweaks, mostly due to my inability to stick to my diet .. yes yes I know. I've only been on it for a few days and I can't even stick to it for that long! I have girls at my work on protein diet, organic diets, sugar free diets for weeks now and have managed to lose kilos. Unfortunately I'm just not one of them.

So tweaks I think I need to make:

More filling breakfast: Today I had a Turkish roll with avocado, 2 boiled eggs, a smear of cream cheese: toasted. It was A-Mazing. And filling. I also had my standard coffee.

Results? I didn't feel hungry till about 11 am. ( I usually have brekky about 8am) so that's pretty good.

Morning Tea: So I have been eating my two apples, sliced each morning and that has been going well. Something I could stick with.

But to make my diet better, I have added a glass of V8 juice (1 fruit, two veg in each glass- or so it says) and I think I will add a carrot as well and see how that goes.

Benefits: I eat 3 serves of fruit and 3 serves of veg before it's lunchtime. Which is good if I end up foods with less veg later. Also I don't eat fruit if it's not in the morning. I'm weird that way..
I know having juice is bad for you, however I don't drink any other liquids besides coffee and water most days so I feel that this ok. At least until I get in the habit of eating better, then maybe I won't need the juice :)

Lunch: Is going well. I was having salad roll and ham. However I find that it doesn't fill me up very much. So I think I will try and add more protein to the meal. Maybe a serve of chicken instead of ham or an egg or something so that I can make it that bit longer till dinner time.

Afternoon. I was snacking on lollies because lunch didn't fill me up, however I'm hoping that by increasing the protein in my lunch that this will deter unhealthy snacking. I have also started eating yoghurt again, so will try and eat a small tub of yoghurt if I do feel the need to snack.

Dinner: Is going well. Gradually lowering portion size and reducing snacking before and after dinner is cooking. I find that if I cook, I am less likely to snack. Not sure why, maybe because I am distracted by the process of cooking rather than drooking from the smells from the kitchen.

I will try and put this into place next week and see whether the tweaks help :) I have noticed that lately I have been sleeping better, my skin is clearing up again and I have more energy (probably due to a good nights sleep) so I am going to keep giving this a go until it works!!!

I DID IT!

Today is the first day.. after finishing one whole month without chocolate!! I did it! I feel like I am actually  now getting back on track, finding my inspiration and motivation from reading so many fantastic blogs about their own personal struggles with weight, food and life. It puts things in perspective.

It also really highlights to me what I need to be doing to commit, and also from taking chocolate out of the equation, how much my diet really needs to be tweaked. So! Next hurdle! Trying to get myself back into a healthy food lifestyle, and finding out what works for me.. unfortunately I'm not one of those people that can live off vegetables and dip for three days, or snack on celery. I can try..but I know I will fail. It's just that I don't find it appetising or interesting, and as much I know it's good for me, I need to do this long term. And things that don't interest me now aren't going to cut it.

So here's what I am aiming for:

Brekky:
2 eggs, boiled and 2 slices of Multigrain bread (toasted) with a smear of cream cheese or avocado
Coffee- I would fail the first day if I took that out!!!

My two fruit, normally apples, banana's or pears. I usually cut them up as it is easier to eat :)

Lunch:
This is where I struggle.. Leftovers? Ham and salad roll?
The thing is I need something that is easy, quick and healthy. I usually get my stuff organised the night before so that I can get up and go the next morning, otherwise I do work really close to a shopping centre where I can grab food.. too much of a temptation though.

Does anyone have any good healthy lunch ideas they would recommend??

Dinner:
This really depends on my family, however we are usually pretty good, so I don't think I need to worry about this. It's more portion control and not eating anything afterwards :P Which is enough to work on if you ask me.

I haven't been going to the gym regularly, mostly due to lack of interest and motivation. However I feel that I should give myself two weeks to focus on food while I look into Personal Training or bootcamp, or even dance classes as I feel that I need something to give me a boost and increase my training. Wish me luck!

3 weeks down, 1 week to go!

3 weeks without Chocolate and I am only just starting to look at chocolate without craving and instant drooling. The good news is that my skin has cleared up and with work settling down I don't feel like running to the confectionary aisle every time something goes wrong.

However stress at home is only worsening, as my father has possibly had a minor stroke in the field in a country somewhere in asia. With limited english and medical facilities, its hard to tell whether what we hear is an official diagnosis. Needless to say it has been a living hell and I feel that I am the only one that has at it together. So am feeling very proud of myself as I stop myself from reaching for an entire block of dark chocolate.