So this week has been full of guilt. I've been sick and because I've been sick I didn't go to training.
This alone makes me feel guilty even though I know I made the right choice to not go.
But this last week I totally let myself go and this is why I am feeling like crap and guilt tripping myself. Being sick is no excuse to eat whatever I want, and made worse by the fact I didn't go to training so I didn't even work any of it off!
It also dawned on me that I have slowly becoming complacent, I'm doing my training and I have been acting like this is enough, I do my part to be healthy so the rest of it I can let go. NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
Here I go on about how good I have been and I want to eat clean and then I am eating chocolate or lollies. Yes I am eating better than I was a year ago, but it is still not good enough. If I want to lose all the weight and make significant changes in my life I need to commit and stop being a hypocrite.
I think the problem is that on weekends I give myself leave to do what I want because I don't really have a routine and weekdays I am so worried about portion control that I am not eating enough and then I end up eating junk to make up for it. Which basically means that I need to rethink my diet and work out a better way of eating.
I have been looking into the idea of Clean Eating. It's basically taking out anything processed out of your diet. To me this seems extreme, however there are certainly some good ideas and points in the program which I would like to incorporate into my diet. Mostly eating more fruit and vegetables and cutting back my processed foods.
I have already started to do this, just be taking over the cooking and looking for recipes to replace the packaged foods/sauces I use now. The problem is time. I get up at 6.20 in the morning, I am out the door at 6.40. I grab my coffee at 7.20 and am at work at 7.30. I work until 4ish and get home at about 5.
Making dinner doesn't faze me, but because I have zero time during the day I need to plan ahead to make sure that I take good foods with me and am not tempted to go spoil myself with treats from the shops just across the road.
The good news is that I am getting better, and while chocolates and lollies are still an issue, I can't remember the last time I had fast food ( Maccas etc) or soft drink.
I already eat a good breakfast, porridge or boiled eggs on toast plus a coffee, and I am quite happy with eating these for breakfast.
It's snacking that's the issue. I'm one of those that like to eat every couple of hours, so breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner.
I think that I need to start bringing in more fruit and veggies cut up, with maybe some dip or something so that this what I snack on instead. I already bring in a piece of fruit and yogurt, however I get bored of these or eat them in the morning and still need something for the afternoon.
So. Goals for the weeks ahead:
Eat better snacks>> prepare snacks the night before so that I can just grab and go in the morning.
Start doing more incidental exercise>> stop relying on just my training and go for walks when I can.
Start getting myself into a routine on the weekend>> healthy breakfast followed by exercise.