Why am I talking about Acceptance? Perhaps because like so many people that have problems with their weight I have struggled to accept myself. I have denied how much my weight was affecting my life, how much it has started to control who I am and what I do, and has slowly affected my normal confident self and the relationships around me.
Step 1: DENIAL.
After years of saying how I am going to lose the weight and make a difference in my life, it finally came to me that I was in denial. I didn't really think I would lose the weight, and I was just making it into something I would do one day, in the future sometime, but not right now. Suddenly years had passed and I was still overweight and still hadn't made an effort to help myself.
So I decided. That's it. No more lying to myself. It was time to make a change and actually do what I said I would do. So this is it, the first week of the rest of my life. So to speak.
So to start with I decided I needed goals. Something to motivate me, keep me going. So I wrote a list of all the things I wanted to do that my weight was holding me back on.
Learn to dance.
Buy clothes off the rack.
Go swimming at the beach.
Having a relationship.
Go Scuba Diving
Get a tattoo. ( Maybe. I don't know. I'm pretty scared of the idea really)
Then I started another list, this time with weight loss goals and what I would do to reward myself once I got there.
December 2011: 8kgs
Reward: Day Spa Treatment.
February 2012: 8kgs
Reward: Go see a play or concert.
March 2012: 4kgs
Reward: New Laptop (or a really expensive bag)
May 2012: 5kgs
Reward: Burn all of my old clothes! Have a party to celebrate!
July 2012: 5kgs
Reward: Go Bungy Jumping
October 2012: 5kgs
Go Scuba Diving.
And finally another list (I just love lists) to guide myself in what would be a new way of living.
I have to eat breakfast.
I have to eat salad or vegetables with lunch and dinner.
No late night snacks after dinner.
Eat fruit everyday.
Now after reading all this, you might think that this is just another diet, just another fat person trying to lose weight, and in many ways you're right. Or you could be thinking I should do this too, I should make a change, set some goals and see how I go. And it's for those people that I am writing this, for them and for myself.
I haven't reached the second stage of acceptance yet, but I am sure that on my weight loss journey I will no doubt find my anger.