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Wednesday, 27 February 2013

Bushfire Drama and learning to take pride in myself

So yesterday was a bit of a drama. One of the hazards of living in Australia is that bush fires do tend to occur, particularly if you live near bushland and in hot, dry summers and on a windy days.. well, lets just say that not many people are surprised if a fire or two pops up.

In the last year or so we have been evacuated 2-3 times. Nothing has ever reached our house, thankfully, and no lives have been lost but several homes, sheds and gardens etc have been destroyed.

Yesterday we got the call/text msg that we had to get out of our homes while I was at work. Often I think it would be easier to be at home when these things occur, at least then you are able to hear and see for yourself, rather than relying on second and third-hand information and patiently waiting for the latest update on the news and radio.

So after a stressful afternoon of fearing the worst I managed to get home fine,  hearing on the radio that they had it all under control. It was 4.45pm. My trainer msgd me saying training was still on at 5.30pm.

I can tell you right now, that all I wanted to do was to go to bed. To curl up and be grateful nothing had happened and finally not let me mind run around in circles, imaging what I would do if the worst had happened.

I have also been tired, so so tired. And feel like I am getting a cold. Which does not make me feel any happier.

All these things were running around in my head, even as I went and put my exercise clothes on, grabbed my keys and walked out the door.

She put me through a killer work out, and I came home even more exhausted and tired, and sore. But more importantly PROUD!.

More and more I am winning. I am going to training, and I am killing it.

No I am not as good as some of the other girls that I occasionally train with, but compare to where I was even two months ago, I have come a long way. I am training harder, longer and better. I am more determined.

And all I can put it down to is the fact that when I came back from holidays I decided 2013 was going to be my year and everything just shifted. After all I believed it was my year.

And people are noticing. Mum has noticed, and started to be proud and admire my dedication, rather than constantly watching me put another mouthful away. My work mates are noticing my weight loss, my trainer is thrilled and pushes me harder every day.

And my clothes are getting bigger and looser (?) and I am so happy.

It is tiring and painful. But it is worth it. Finally I can be proud of myself and my body again. :D

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