Something that always manages to hurt is other people's snide comments about what I eat. They seem to think that because they catch me eating a piece of chocolate or some hot chips that it gives them the right to criticise what I am doing.
They seem to think that just because I am not 100% sugar free, wheat free, dairy free etc etc that I don't eat healthy. That I am not doing 'enough'.
It makes me so angry and then it makes me sad.
Because every time I hear those comments I wonder why I don't push myself more, why I don't make those simply changes. Why I don't go harder, faster, longer...
It makes me feel like I'm not doing enough. As if I'm the failure.
Despite going from not exercising at all to exercising 5 times a week.
From constantly snacking in my room after dinner to not snacking after dinner at all.
From barely touching fruit to eating fruit every morning, and feeling weird when I don't.
From skipping breakfast to eating cereal or wholegrain toast with boiled eggs every morning.
From shovelling fast food into me while in my car when I was hungry but too ashamed for anyone to see what I was eating.
From having fast food almost every week to less than once a month.
From drinking soft drink or juice every week to next to nothing.
From cutting back my meat consumption and increasing my fish and vegetables.
From going from someone who was about to go into a size 20 pants to someone who has to now go into a size 16. One size away from my goal.
From someone who was ashamed and disgusted with themselves and what their body looked like to someone who has finally rediscovered their confidence and joy in life. Who is HAPPY and who is HEALTHY and who is constantly improving.
Yes I am not 100% organic, sugar and wheat free. But my god I am a billion times better than what I was .
So SHUT THE F*** UP.
Thursday, 19 September 2013
Tuesday, 13 August 2013
Mixing it up and increasing my sessions: bring on the new me!
So I have swapped my workout routine around. Hopefully it should help me to fit more workouts in overall.
What did I change?
Well normally I work out 4-5 times a week between 5.30-6.30pm, this included 2 x PT sessions, 2x GX boxing sessions and an occasional stairs session.
But often what happens is something will come up at work or I'll be invited out by friends after work which often results in a) cancelling my session or b) missing out on being with friends.
Also recently I have started volunteering with my local shire to help with an October event and they meet at Wednesday's at 6.30 pm.
So to stop myself from the temptation of cancelling my sessions and so that I can enjoy some free time after work to meet friends and get those annoying chores out of the way I have swapped my 2 PT sessions from Mon + Wed @ 5.30pm to Tues and Thurs @ 6am.
For the first time I will be working out in the morning.. this is going to be interesting!
I feel good about it though because I am less likely to cancel in the morning and it doesn't change my routine too much at all. I already get up at 6, so now I just get up a little bit earlier for my workout and get to work later.
I eventually want to get into a routine of working out every morning, even if it is as little as a walk/jog around the block in the mornings. I'll start slow and will eventually build up to working out 8 times a week.. well that's the plan anyways!
Since starting doing stairs I have noticed a real improvement in my overall fitness. Things like jogging, walking, bending, mountain climbers etc are all a lot easier. I think it's do with the type of movement- they all consist of bending my knees and lifting my legs.
For me as a pear, my bottom half is the part that needs the most improvement, not that my top half is amazing but it's a size to two sizes smaller.. anyways because I have always carried so much weight there I have always felt uncomfortable running, jogging and generally moving that area. This of course just meant it got worse not better.
So now finally I am tackling this issue and challenging myself and my body!
Once again diet is being re tweaked. I really fell off the bandwagon last week after jumping on the scales and being hugely disappointed. This is why I don't weigh myself!!! Now that I am over my binge I'm back to being motivated to getting myself down to where I need to be.
While I love that I have changed shape and that people can see the difference, the scales are still not reflecting my commitment. And amongst other things I want the scales to say 70-75 kilos. I don't mind being higher than that if I feel like my body is in a good place, but I still think I should aim for a healthy BMI.
I had a taste of mixed martial arts last night and really enjoyed it. It was very different but really practical, in the sense that you could actually use the moves should you need to defend yourself. Something I find quite reassuring being a young female.
So let's see how the new work out routine goes and hopefully if all goes well I'll be adding in more flexible workouts- walks and jogs etc to the routine and maybe by the end of this year I might actually see some results on the scales as well.. one can only hope!
What did I change?
Well normally I work out 4-5 times a week between 5.30-6.30pm, this included 2 x PT sessions, 2x GX boxing sessions and an occasional stairs session.
But often what happens is something will come up at work or I'll be invited out by friends after work which often results in a) cancelling my session or b) missing out on being with friends.
Also recently I have started volunteering with my local shire to help with an October event and they meet at Wednesday's at 6.30 pm.
So to stop myself from the temptation of cancelling my sessions and so that I can enjoy some free time after work to meet friends and get those annoying chores out of the way I have swapped my 2 PT sessions from Mon + Wed @ 5.30pm to Tues and Thurs @ 6am.
For the first time I will be working out in the morning.. this is going to be interesting!
I feel good about it though because I am less likely to cancel in the morning and it doesn't change my routine too much at all. I already get up at 6, so now I just get up a little bit earlier for my workout and get to work later.
I eventually want to get into a routine of working out every morning, even if it is as little as a walk/jog around the block in the mornings. I'll start slow and will eventually build up to working out 8 times a week.. well that's the plan anyways!
Since starting doing stairs I have noticed a real improvement in my overall fitness. Things like jogging, walking, bending, mountain climbers etc are all a lot easier. I think it's do with the type of movement- they all consist of bending my knees and lifting my legs.
For me as a pear, my bottom half is the part that needs the most improvement, not that my top half is amazing but it's a size to two sizes smaller.. anyways because I have always carried so much weight there I have always felt uncomfortable running, jogging and generally moving that area. This of course just meant it got worse not better.
So now finally I am tackling this issue and challenging myself and my body!
Once again diet is being re tweaked. I really fell off the bandwagon last week after jumping on the scales and being hugely disappointed. This is why I don't weigh myself!!! Now that I am over my binge I'm back to being motivated to getting myself down to where I need to be.
While I love that I have changed shape and that people can see the difference, the scales are still not reflecting my commitment. And amongst other things I want the scales to say 70-75 kilos. I don't mind being higher than that if I feel like my body is in a good place, but I still think I should aim for a healthy BMI.
I had a taste of mixed martial arts last night and really enjoyed it. It was very different but really practical, in the sense that you could actually use the moves should you need to defend yourself. Something I find quite reassuring being a young female.
So let's see how the new work out routine goes and hopefully if all goes well I'll be adding in more flexible workouts- walks and jogs etc to the routine and maybe by the end of this year I might actually see some results on the scales as well.. one can only hope!
Thursday, 25 July 2013
Working-out.
I don't often post about what sort of work outs I do each week, mostly because I assume people are aware of the different work outs you can do and because this blog is pretty much just for me to blurt out all my feelings about weight loss.
So lately I have been working out quite a bit. Well at least for me I have. I have been doing 2 x hour PT sessions a week, 2 X GX Boxing sessions and when I miss one as I have had to work late, I have been doing a stairs session.
For example I would go to the gym 3x a week, work out for at least 45 minutes and just do cardio, bike riding mostly. Just because I thought that would be what burnt calories and what I was comfortable doing. I definitely wasn't comfortable doing weights or classes and I always tried to go to the gym at off peak times to avoid being seen by others. Yes I was afraid of being judged.
PT pushes me, it challenges me to do things with my body that I would never have thought of doing. It has shown me time and time again that I am capable of more than I thought I was. It makes me feel strong and healthy and I keep going back despite the pain haha. This means to me that this is right for me.
Starting this year I stared doing 2x 1 hour session after some pushing from my trainer. My trainer thought I wouldn't come back after my hour session! But I realised that I could do it and that I needed to constantly push myself to keep going and not plateau. This is where GX came in.
After your punches/kicks we always end with 2 minute knock out rounds. This is where my trainer (who runs these classes) chooses 3 exercises and we have to do each one for 2 minutes. This could be squats, lunges, burpees, push ups, planks, sit ups etc etc it changes constantly.
It is amazing and sweaty and makes you feel strong and powerful and even 6 months in I still feel it the next day.
It is exhausting and I hate it. But it is a great work out and means that I can keep doing 4 sessions a week even if I miss one of my other classes.
The main thing I love about these work outs is that they challenge me. I never feel like something is getting too easy, because the work outs are always changing and getting harder.
I also love the mix of weights and cardio. I love weights and I hate cardio, but I know I need to do cardio as well. I feel like I am building muscle and losing fat and slowly cardio is getting easier for me. Easier not Easy!
Last night I tried on some pants that I kept from when I was at my smallest. I can now get them up over my thighs but I cannot do them up. Needless to say I had mixed feelings. Joy that I could get them up so far and am so close to being back to where I used to be and disappointment that I was so small and let myself go and am still not at that point anymore.
Ah well. I am probably healthier and stronger mentally and physically than I was anyway. Always look on the bright side!
So lately I have been working out quite a bit. Well at least for me I have. I have been doing 2 x hour PT sessions a week, 2 X GX Boxing sessions and when I miss one as I have had to work late, I have been doing a stairs session.
PT
This is amazing. I changed from going to the gym to getting a PT over a year ago now. I started doing just 2 x 30 minutes a week and I could immediately tell the difference between PT and going to the gym. Unless you're dedicated, motivated and educated in the different exercises you can and should do, I feel like the gym can be a bit of waste of time.For example I would go to the gym 3x a week, work out for at least 45 minutes and just do cardio, bike riding mostly. Just because I thought that would be what burnt calories and what I was comfortable doing. I definitely wasn't comfortable doing weights or classes and I always tried to go to the gym at off peak times to avoid being seen by others. Yes I was afraid of being judged.
PT pushes me, it challenges me to do things with my body that I would never have thought of doing. It has shown me time and time again that I am capable of more than I thought I was. It makes me feel strong and healthy and I keep going back despite the pain haha. This means to me that this is right for me.
Starting this year I stared doing 2x 1 hour session after some pushing from my trainer. My trainer thought I wouldn't come back after my hour session! But I realised that I could do it and that I needed to constantly push myself to keep going and not plateau. This is where GX came in.
GX Boxing
GX is a form of high intensity boxing. Or rather exercising using boxing moves. So no fighting in the ring! We do several punch/kick combinations, each one 3 times and rotating with your partner. (You hit, they hit etc) The first time is to get used to the moves, the second is for strength (hit as hard as you can) and third for speed.After your punches/kicks we always end with 2 minute knock out rounds. This is where my trainer (who runs these classes) chooses 3 exercises and we have to do each one for 2 minutes. This could be squats, lunges, burpees, push ups, planks, sit ups etc etc it changes constantly.
It is amazing and sweaty and makes you feel strong and powerful and even 6 months in I still feel it the next day.
Stairs
Stairs is something I have only recently started doing. Again from being pushed by my trainer. She runs a class on Thursday nights at the local stairs (30 steps approx). Usually we do something like 5 (up and down) stairs then push ups. 5 stairs, tricep dips, 5 stairs something else. Usually about 25-30 stairs before ending with an ab workout.It is exhausting and I hate it. But it is a great work out and means that I can keep doing 4 sessions a week even if I miss one of my other classes.
The main thing I love about these work outs is that they challenge me. I never feel like something is getting too easy, because the work outs are always changing and getting harder.
I also love the mix of weights and cardio. I love weights and I hate cardio, but I know I need to do cardio as well. I feel like I am building muscle and losing fat and slowly cardio is getting easier for me. Easier not Easy!
Last night I tried on some pants that I kept from when I was at my smallest. I can now get them up over my thighs but I cannot do them up. Needless to say I had mixed feelings. Joy that I could get them up so far and am so close to being back to where I used to be and disappointment that I was so small and let myself go and am still not at that point anymore.
Ah well. I am probably healthier and stronger mentally and physically than I was anyway. Always look on the bright side!
Monday, 22 July 2013
Inspiration: What keeps me going.
There are often days that you just wonder why? Why am I still doing this? Why do I put myself through this for no reason?
Why should I have to watch what I eat? Why should I have to exercise and be sore and tired all the time? Why, why why..
The reality is we know why. Or I know why. Because I didn't take care of my body. I didn't look after it, respect it, give it what it needed and deserved and I ended up overweight and over 100kgs before I took stock of myself and where I was going.
I realised that I did NOT want to be an overweight mother who couldn't run after her kids or who died early from a heart attack. I did NOT want to be the fat friend who constantly missed out on things. I did NOT want to say no because I was ashamed of my body.
And to make that happen means hard work. All the time. It means a lifestyle change, it means never going back.
But there are some days when the doubt creeps in, those days when everything seems too much and you just want a break or give up and cave in to your cravings and indulgences.
On these days it's good to stop, take a breath and remember why you started this journey in the first place.
For me it's about the above. It's also about me fitting into clothes that I've never felt comfortable wearing before (figure hugging clothing, a bikini, sexy lingerie etc) . It's about becoming the person I want to be, the person I see in my head.
I found this really great quote on a postcard today:
This is an example of what I would love to look like and wear. Though with a little more curves ;)
Why should I have to watch what I eat? Why should I have to exercise and be sore and tired all the time? Why, why why..
The reality is we know why. Or I know why. Because I didn't take care of my body. I didn't look after it, respect it, give it what it needed and deserved and I ended up overweight and over 100kgs before I took stock of myself and where I was going.
I realised that I did NOT want to be an overweight mother who couldn't run after her kids or who died early from a heart attack. I did NOT want to be the fat friend who constantly missed out on things. I did NOT want to say no because I was ashamed of my body.
And to make that happen means hard work. All the time. It means a lifestyle change, it means never going back.
But there are some days when the doubt creeps in, those days when everything seems too much and you just want a break or give up and cave in to your cravings and indulgences.
On these days it's good to stop, take a breath and remember why you started this journey in the first place.
For me it's about the above. It's also about me fitting into clothes that I've never felt comfortable wearing before (figure hugging clothing, a bikini, sexy lingerie etc) . It's about becoming the person I want to be, the person I see in my head.
I found this really great quote on a postcard today:
"I want to experience it all. At this very moment. Without hesitation."
Which I think sums it up pretty well what I want- without hesitation. I don't want to hesitate because of my weight or insecurities. And that's why I keep struggling, keep moving, keep exercising and eating well and moving forward. Because one day, I can say that is me.This is an example of what I would love to look like and wear. Though with a little more curves ;)
Thursday, 18 July 2013
Seeking balance and making new goals.
Lately I have been quite busy, with work and my social life, training and starting to date again.
It's left me feeling a bit scattered, unorganised and not in the right space mentally.
Thankfully for me starting this weekend I will get some down time and can finally relax and get myself on track.
A few things that have been happening lately:
I have started an online interior design course, which I just submitted my first assignment for and am now starting the second. It has been a few years since I studied and it's surprising how hard it is to get back into it, but I enjoy design and history, so I'm quite liking the course.
I am building a house. I am just finalising the home loan papers and then I have to start picking out my colours, ranges, tiles etc and all that. So that is going to be taking up some of my time and money. But it will be well worth it next year when I move into my own home.
I have started doing stairs with my trainer, this means that I am working out a minimum of 4 sessions a week, sometimes 5. It also gives me more variety and something else to try and improve. It is both disheartening and encouraging working out with women who are 10 years older than me and who are fitter and healthier than me. Thankfully they have also been on this journey a lot longer than me.
I have started dating again. Jesus, what was I thinking? It has been both nice and disappointing. Nice to know that there are genuinely nice guys out there and that I must have something going for me. Disappointing because I have yet to find anyone that I have a connection with. Plus there are some serious losers out there. Sad, but true.
I am slowly undergoing a make over. Longer more natural looking hair. Getting my nails done, and changing my style a bit. I want something a bit classier but still a little eccentric. I like my bows, buttons, patterns etc but time to tone it down a little. I want something more sleek and toned- kinda like the body I want!
I am trying to get my arse together and organise a few trips before I move into my house and have a mortgage. Hopefully go to Ireland, Canada and maybe Fiji or something. I want to do something because I know once I have a mortgage money and time will be hard to find and it will be at least a few years before I will be able to go travelling again!
Lastly, I have decided that when I move into my house I want to have a few of these things done. Like travel plans out of the way. Down to my goal weight (I really hope so!). Finish my interior design course. This is giving me some motivation to get things done- it's only a year away after all!
This year was/is for me and my personal life. Next year it will be about financial goals and getting some more experience/tools/training under my belt. Do some volunteering and work experience (interior design) and start looking at my career goals. That and I suspect I will be focusing a lot on DIY and craft things for my house. :D
As you can see a lot going on and a lot more to come. But I want to live life to the fullest so that means tackling things now, not later. Particularly as I want to have a family and who knows how that will affect my time and money.
It's left me feeling a bit scattered, unorganised and not in the right space mentally.
Thankfully for me starting this weekend I will get some down time and can finally relax and get myself on track.
A few things that have been happening lately:
I have started an online interior design course, which I just submitted my first assignment for and am now starting the second. It has been a few years since I studied and it's surprising how hard it is to get back into it, but I enjoy design and history, so I'm quite liking the course.
I am building a house. I am just finalising the home loan papers and then I have to start picking out my colours, ranges, tiles etc and all that. So that is going to be taking up some of my time and money. But it will be well worth it next year when I move into my own home.
I have started doing stairs with my trainer, this means that I am working out a minimum of 4 sessions a week, sometimes 5. It also gives me more variety and something else to try and improve. It is both disheartening and encouraging working out with women who are 10 years older than me and who are fitter and healthier than me. Thankfully they have also been on this journey a lot longer than me.
I have started dating again. Jesus, what was I thinking? It has been both nice and disappointing. Nice to know that there are genuinely nice guys out there and that I must have something going for me. Disappointing because I have yet to find anyone that I have a connection with. Plus there are some serious losers out there. Sad, but true.
I am slowly undergoing a make over. Longer more natural looking hair. Getting my nails done, and changing my style a bit. I want something a bit classier but still a little eccentric. I like my bows, buttons, patterns etc but time to tone it down a little. I want something more sleek and toned- kinda like the body I want!
I am trying to get my arse together and organise a few trips before I move into my house and have a mortgage. Hopefully go to Ireland, Canada and maybe Fiji or something. I want to do something because I know once I have a mortgage money and time will be hard to find and it will be at least a few years before I will be able to go travelling again!
Lastly, I have decided that when I move into my house I want to have a few of these things done. Like travel plans out of the way. Down to my goal weight (I really hope so!). Finish my interior design course. This is giving me some motivation to get things done- it's only a year away after all!
This year was/is for me and my personal life. Next year it will be about financial goals and getting some more experience/tools/training under my belt. Do some volunteering and work experience (interior design) and start looking at my career goals. That and I suspect I will be focusing a lot on DIY and craft things for my house. :D
As you can see a lot going on and a lot more to come. But I want to live life to the fullest so that means tackling things now, not later. Particularly as I want to have a family and who knows how that will affect my time and money.
Wednesday, 17 July 2013
Time for some photo's!
Anyway, last night a friend of mine posted some photo's up from over the last three years.. who know's where she has been storing them!
And I was amazed at the difference. Not just in style and in hair (in each photo I have different hair colour.. brown, blonde (reallly blonde) and to almost black.
So I just wanted to share that I am still going, still plodding along, changing one meal at a time, still working out min of 3 times a week, sometimes 4-5. Starting new things, getting better clothes, feeling better and generally taking more care in my appearance and looks.
It's all coming together folks!
So to cap, the bottom photo is about 2-3 years ago now. The top photo is still about 6 months old.
This one is from the other night :)
Tuesday, 2 July 2013
Embarrasing boxing sessions!
So last night was my GX boxing class at 5.30pm. I put on a pear of exercise pants that I haven't worn in a little while and head out the door.
We start getting into our boxing session, doing a lot of kicks and knee exercises and I can feel my pants starting to fall down. The first time we take a break I take off my gloves and haul my pants back up.
But then we start going a bit harder and faster and before I know it my trainer has to step in and pull my pants up because they're half way down my arse.
Thank god a) it's an all female class and b) I was wearing good undies!! It could have been soooo much worse.
All I can say is that at least my work outs and eating have payed off!
I still need to work on my eating habits, as I've slipped up a few times, but I have cut back a lot of my processed foods lately and upped my fruit and veg intake instead. Still struggling with portion sizes with some days acing it and others not so much. But the days where I am doing better is getting more and more. It's hard in winter when all you want is comfort food and to snuggle in bed.
At the moment I'm concentrating on reducing my sweets/chocolate intake as for a while there I was having a chocolate (fun size) almost every day. That's not something I want to maintain!
I want to keep it to maybe once or twice a week, mostly on weekends when I might enjoy sharing a dessert over dinner or a muffin with a friend over coffee.
At the moment I'm about 3 times a week. So a lot better to what I was but still not where I want to be!
We start getting into our boxing session, doing a lot of kicks and knee exercises and I can feel my pants starting to fall down. The first time we take a break I take off my gloves and haul my pants back up.
But then we start going a bit harder and faster and before I know it my trainer has to step in and pull my pants up because they're half way down my arse.
Thank god a) it's an all female class and b) I was wearing good undies!! It could have been soooo much worse.
All I can say is that at least my work outs and eating have payed off!
I still need to work on my eating habits, as I've slipped up a few times, but I have cut back a lot of my processed foods lately and upped my fruit and veg intake instead. Still struggling with portion sizes with some days acing it and others not so much. But the days where I am doing better is getting more and more. It's hard in winter when all you want is comfort food and to snuggle in bed.
At the moment I'm concentrating on reducing my sweets/chocolate intake as for a while there I was having a chocolate (fun size) almost every day. That's not something I want to maintain!
I want to keep it to maybe once or twice a week, mostly on weekends when I might enjoy sharing a dessert over dinner or a muffin with a friend over coffee.
At the moment I'm about 3 times a week. So a lot better to what I was but still not where I want to be!
Here is a recent photo of me with my friends from a weekend away :)
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