Saying Goodbye

I am exhausted. Absolutely exhausted. This weekend was a long weekend in Australia, to celebrate Australia Day. Normally a weekend reserved for drinking, BBQ's and swimming.

Saturday wasn't too bad, I decided I didn't want to do too much because I had been helping mum clean up most of the week and knew we would be back into it on Sunday.We're moving house, saying goodbye to our childhood home of the last 14 years.

So I stayed at home and swam in our dam most of the day, then went out for dinner and watched a movie with a couple of friends. It was nice to catch up with them and just get a chance to talk. We have been friends since we were 13 but lately there has been a lot going on in all our lives so it has been getting harder and harder to get together for some decent down time.

Sunday. Wow what a day. We started off slow, slept in and deciding what we wanted to do that day. Then we spent the rest of the morning cleaning and and packing up. Then came the call at lunch time, we are going to move today. TODAY! Bloody hell.

So to back up a bit, we were moving in to my sisters and her partners house in the interim while the divorce goes through and mum finds another house... but not for another week! But my Brother-in-law (to be) decided we might as well do it now while he had the time.

So Sunday saw me, my mum, my sister and her partner packing, stacking, lifting furniture and making trips to the garages where we were storing our stuff and to their house with our more personal items. It was about 8pm by the time we were settled in and by then me and mum were exhausted. We were hot, sweaty, dusty, thirsty and tired. So I bought pizza and we had a few ruskis then went to bed.

Needless to say that sleeping in someone elses house meant that I didn't sleep well at all. Then next morning we were up and cleaning again. I stopped for lunch with a friend I hadn't seen in a while. Then back into it again.

Again, we were so exhausted that we just grabbed what we could to eat from the fridge.

See the pattern?

But do you know what? I am so exhausted I don't care. I can't think about anything else. Today I'm back at work and will hopefully try and stick to my routine and not go buy a bag of chocolates to munch on for the sugar rush. But as for the weekend I am not going to feel guilty. I can't. I am too drained. That can wait until I have the energy and the time to evaluate and think about my eating decisions again.

But don't worry too much. I am going to boxing tonight and will have to take the dogs for a walk. So my exercise is not being affected at least.

Weekend Confession

This coming Friday is my birthday. I will be 23 years old! Or young. Depending on who you're talking to.

Any who, most of my friends had family things on this coming weekend, so I decided to celebrate early.

My weekend confession:

Thursday night I caught up with my friend for coffee. We talked for hours, it was a great night. Except I didn't eat dinner until 9.30pm and then it was a take away chicken roll (with salad!).

Friday night I went for drinks with the girls after work. I had four drinks and didn't eat again till 10pm- I had two pieces of toast with vegemite (like marmite but not) with cheese.

Saturday I had a big breakfast, two eggs, sunny side up, two pieces of bacon and a big mushroom- Yummy! (But definitely not on my eat every day list)
Then I went shopping and had a coffee AND did not eat lunch.

Then I headed out to a friends house party where several of my friends decided that they were going to get me drunk to celebrate my early birthday.

First of all, I do not normally drink. EVER. It's just not something I do. My friends have never ever seen me be drunk. Yes tipsy, having a good time, socialising, but never ever drunk. I usually just start off keeping up with everyone, then when they get too tipsy to notice if I'm drinking or not, I stop. I don't know why, it is just something I have always done. I think it might have something to do with control and letting go.

Well they saw me drunk on Saturday. Not only did they give me tequila, even when I told them not too! But because I hadn't eaten either. NOT A GOOD THING!

So yes I vomited. They all laughed and thought it was hilarious and now I feel like I have officially lived my youth and they can all stop trying to get me drunk.

It was funny though, as one of the comments I do remember was "What? You don't actually drink at all????!!" Obviously I had tried to tell people that I don't drink and they hadn't believed me. Maybe they just thought I don't drink much, but no, I don't drink at all.

For all that though, I was up at 6am on Sunday, barely a headache and felt fine. I did have a nice snooze in the sun in the afternoon and that was it.

So summary:

I ate very badly, and drank. More than I have in a long time. But I also know that this was a one-off. I don't plan on drinking like this every weekend. It's not my birthday every weekend. I don't want to start getting in bad habits.

On the other hand, this weekend I proved that I have finally started to break eating out of habit- "it's lunch time therefore I must eat lunch". Not because I am actually hungry.

This is something that I have been working on, that and making sure that everything I eat contributes to my overall health. This is something that I used to do a lot when I first lost weight but it has become harder as I struggle to plan and organise meals etc. I also have been under a lot of stress at work which I feel like I have finally been able to let go and relax.

All in all, I feel bad at what I did, but it just makes me feel more determined to do better and go harder. I have been doing really well in training so I feel like I don't want to ruin that with food.

I have even cut back on chocolate lately, and I haven't felt deprived or anything!

So looking forward, not back and here's hoping the next year of my life is positive, healthy and full of achievements!