Been a while

Hard to believe but I'm still here seeing as I haven't blogged in a while. Life has been so busy this past year that I just haven't felt the need to blog and just been enjoying myself.

So much has changed. I'm happier, less stressed. I've cut back on work and moved in with partner of 1 year. Reduced my travel time to work and went on an amazing trip to Japan.

In many ways I am in a completely different spot to last year.

And yet I'm still fat.

This is what has been bugging me lately. I'm happier, less stressed, eating better and I'm still fat. It's very frustrating.

As this is now the one thing I don't have 'right' in my life, it's come to the forefront a lot lately. I tried the gym for a short while, and as much as I love a good workout and feeling sweaty and strong, I just didn't enjoy it enough to stay consistent. I get bored really easily and don't know enough different exercises to change it up.

You could take that as an excuse if you like. But I'm trying to find something I can stick with long term, which means finding something I enjoy enough to keep going. So I cancelled the gym and have been focusing on walking the dog before and after work, which is something I enjoy and find really meditative. I feel alert when I get to work in the morning and helps me wind down in the evening.

I've also started the 30 day squat challenge and another one for abs. Which I find simple enough and easy enough to fit in each day at home. I think I'll look for some more challenges once I've finished these.

On top of this I'm looking into a PT once a week to help kick off the weight loss, and some classes that I can take with my partner which we'll enjoy and count as spending time together. So far looking at dancing classes, martial arts or some kind of sport.

While doing these I'm just focusing on enjoying life and trying to eat as well as I can.

What's new with you?

Back to Basics

Long time no see.

I've been busy with developing in my new role, buying things for the house, having a social life and of course trying new things to see what works for me and my health.

So far the results are good. I am far more relaxed and energised than ever before. Learning to rest when I need and take time for me has been a crucial thing for me. I get burnt out so easily otherwise with my irregular hours.

I feel like I have reset my eating habits. Snacking less, if at all, and reduced my junk and take away foods. Sticking with simpler foods that fill me up, that don't come from a packet and are easy to prep is key to this.

I have lost 5 kgs so far in a space of a few months. Not bad. A part of me says I could do better, but another part of me is happy I'm not dropping quickly as it means it is more manageable and less likely to quickly gain it all. This is a long term thing.

I start training this week so that should also impact on my weight loss as well.

My goals for 2016 are:

First step of weight loss: lose 4 kilos. This would then put me under 100 and  mean I've lost almost 10 kilos. After this I want to lose 20kilos, bringing me to 79 kilos. From here I think I will see how I feel and whether I think I need to lose more weight.

Wealth: Save $$ for my mortgage

Travel: Go camping and go to Japan in August

House: look at finishing steps so that I can rent it out next year.

Happy New Year and bring on 2016!

Just an update

Not that anyone reads this blog but I just felt like writing something about where I'm at lately.

Still trying to eat more intuitively. And finding that in general I think I am eating less and healthier. Obviously there are times where this goes out the window, but for the most part I am eating far less than I used to. And enjoying it. And feeling satisfied afterwards. Which is great.

The not so great part is the times when I am not eating properly and not feeling motivated to exercise as much as I should. So time to change that!

So I am looking at going back to PT twice a week as I need someone to motivate me and help me push myself. I have also bought myself some roller skates. Random I know. But I have never roller skated and always wanted to, plus it has got some great benefits for you- great for your core and legs and less impact on the knees which is fantastic for me. I'm hoping the combination of the two and my good eating will get me back on track and help me to lose the weight. So to help me I need to set some goals:


Goal 1: 4kgs
Timeframe: May 30th
Saved: $1000

Goal 2: 5Kgs
Timeframe: July 4th
Saved $1500

Goal 3: 5kgs
Timeframe: August 15th
Saved: $2500

Goal 4: 4kgs
Timeframe: September 30th
Saved : $3000

Goal 5: 3kgs
Timeframe: October 30th
Saved : $3500

Goal 6: 3kgs
Timeframe: December 20th
Saved: $4000

Goal 7: 3kgs
Timeframe: February 20th
Saved: $5000

Goal 8: 3kgs
Timeframe: April 20th
Saved: $6000

Goal Weight: 77kgs.

Cravings, portion control and in tune with my body.

I touched on this briefly my last post. But I honestly feel like I have finally started feeling in tune with my body. Hard to believe, I know.

What I am talking about is the art of realising when one is full. Of knowing when you are actually hungry and when you are bored. Of sitting down and enjoying meals and not picking constantly throughout the day. Of not eating just for the sake of it being 8am, 12pm, 6pm.

I am constantly surprised by this. Mostly because I am so used to eating all the time. To be constantly looking for the next meal. To have snacks and food surround me for fear of hunger.

Now it is different. Slowly but surely I am learning to actually listen to my body. What makes it feel good, what doesn't. Coffee my warm friend in the morning, is actually becoming a turn off as the heavy weight of the milk hits my stomach and makes me feel gross. Grapes I am loving at the moment. Same with banana and peanut butter on toast (random I know, but great when I get sick of eggs or porridge).

Once upon a time I looked forward to the weekend so that I could enjoy a massive cooked breakfast ( I love eggs). Now I can't even get through the same size plate. Instead I enjoy eggs with avocado on toast. Occasionally bacon for a guilty pleasure.

Cooked chicken from the super market actually makes me feel sick.

I still enjoy 'the good stuff'. I still occasionally over eat, as I adjust my eyes to that of my stomach and learn to say, 'I'm full'. But it is slowly but surely happening.

I am also delighted that my new partner has been very supportive. Happy to encourage me to do better, but appreciating me for who I am now. It's nice to have that encouragement come from a place of love. Too many people 'mean well' but their comments hurt rather than help.

So watch this space. Maybe 2015 will be my year after all!

2015 Update- Being Normal!

Been a while since I posted here. A bit has changed in my life. For starters, I am in relationship for the first time in 5 years. He also has a daughter, so my life has suddenly gotten a lot more complicated. Especially with him working away and living over an hours drive away. Suddenly I have to be a lot more careful with planning so that we can group our time together to save us from travelling so much.

But I am happy and so far most of my days have been filled with joy and sweet memories. It's a nice feeling after being alone for so long.

I am conscious however of the last time I was in a relationship and how easy it was to give up my way of eating and lifestyle and just go with the 'easy' options. Of trying to keep up with the partners eating habits and just putting on weight while they remained skinny (Men. sigh.).

But first an update on the hypnotherapy, it has been going really, really well. No longer do I feel the constant ravenous craving for chocolate or sweets. No longer do I have a constant battle in my head to resist sugar and only to cave as soon as I become to tired to resist.

Instead I am reaching for healthy foods. Or simply no longer as hungry any more. I am finding that I put more food on my plate than I can actually eat. Often half way through something I'll suddenly realise I am no longer hungry/want to eat anymore and just stop.

I have had chocolate, but it does not give me the same satisfaction that it used to. Instead I find myself disappointed and wondering why I was ever addicted.

It is a strange feeling for someone who has for most of their life constantly snacked. Constantly sought out the next meal. Constantly thinking of food. Constantly wanted chocolate. And now I'm not.

So now I am taking it as it comes and trying to not over think it and ruin what my body is doing naturally. Instead I am trying to focus on making sure I have healthy foods around me and on other things that can benefit my health like exercise, sleep and relaxation. I'm finding I know my limits a lot better now so trying to push my limits on exercise while making sure I keep well within my limits of sleep and relaxation.

I can't say that I can see progress in scales yet but I think that as my body realises this is what it is now (for good), it will slowly decrease. Really it doesn't matter as I am happy to simply not be a slave to food and be 'normal'. =)

Hynotherapy and Positive Thinking

My thing at the moment is trying Hypnotherapy (Hypnosis) and one of the things that came up was the language we use- like Trying. Which implies that we have to try and that it is a struggle and there is a chance of failure. Since I got pulled up on it I've noticed that I use that language a lot with diet and exercise - 'I will try to eat well this week', 'I will try and get some exercise in today', and my favourite in response to any questions about how great I'm doing 'Yeah for now' and 'We'll see'.

To which I was pulled up on and corrected into - You will eat better today. You will exercise today. You will reach your goal weight. You will live healthier etc etc

It really highlighted to me just how much I self sabotage and don't believe in myself. And by simply not believing whole heartedly in myself I am essentially allowing myself to fail.

Every year I say, this is my year, I will do better, I will reach my goal. But then I get busy, I get tired, I get stressed and my health becomes the last thing on my list to worry about. But that is going to stop. This year is my year and the reason is because I have achieved everything I need to on my list at the moment, except my weight. I am determined to get this last thing on my list right.

I am also feeling extremely positive at the moment. Which I think is because my work schedule has finally balance, cash flow is finally happening again (building a house takes it's toll!) and because I've decided I need to focus on me and do the things I actually want to do, not what I feel obligated to do.

Anyways, saying all that, I am aware that I self sabotage myself. I know how to eat healthy, I know how to exercise, I know what to do lose weight. Yet I don't do it. Or I do it for a while then fall off the band wagon. Which is why I thought I would try Hypnotherapy and give my mind a reboot and hopefully stop myself from self sabotaging. I figure, if I've spent all that money on boot camp and it didn't work, then why not on Hypnotherapy? Especially when so many of the issues are in my head.

And if it does work, then it is definitely money well spent.

I've had one session so far and am listening to a CD once a day until my next session next week. After that we'll see how many sessions I need. In the lead up to Hypnotherapy I had already committed to eating healthier, so I was already on the right track- no chocolate, bread etc, portion sizing and eating fruit and vegetables and had done really well. This week I am committed to continuing the process and I think the hypnotherapy will help reinforce that positive attitude and self control I need.

The test will be in a months time if everything is still going along on track. Because it's not hard for me to maintain control and be healthy for weeks on end, but months? That's a whole different band wagon. But this time I will do it!

I will reach my goal weight. I will be healthier. I will live a healthy life style. I will exercise every day. I will not self sabotage myself. I will be a better me. I will be a more positive me. I will be a happier me. I will live my life.

Jumping on the band wagon

So for a while now smoothies and juices have been making a splash as the new health thing to do. Almost everyone I know is doing it and I've been holding back as I wasn't sure it was something I could get into. But finally I bit the bullet and bought myself a cheap blender that makes it easy and simply with no fuss and great travel cups.

Surprisingly, or not so surprisingly, it's been going really well. I just have one first thing in the morning, keep it simple with bananas, frozen berries or mango and spinach. Most of the time I mix in ice and water, sometimes I had rice milk and LSA if I know I'm on the run a bit more and need something to get me through the day.

It's taken over a week but I've noticed a huge improvement in my eating habits- less snacks, and smaller portion sizes. I think that having something so fresh and healthy to start the day helps motivate me for the rest of the day. Plus it is filling, so between that and my coffee, it gets me through to lunch time, by which I will have some healthy leftovers which usually can get me through to dinner. If not, some yoghurt or carrots are my go to snacks so far.

I have been having dessert but since finishing off my tub of ice cream I've decided to not buy anymore, same with chips etc and see how I go. Hopefully by stocking up on healthy alternatives I can cut back on my bad habits.

The good thing about the smoothies is that I know that I have already had my fruit and 1 serve of vegetables before I've even started my day. So a great way to make sure I get some vegies and fruit in before things get busy. Then I just try and eat veggies with lunch and dinner and to try and get my 2+5.

It seems to be making a difference as well. The reason I started in the first place was because I was worried I was falling off the band wagon after finishing up PT and moving out of home. But by trying to make healthy convenient and tasty things have settled down and my clothes are already fitting better again. Good to feel back in control!